BB FANS

Eugene is pi$$ed at the party, he can hardly stand. lol

Spy Vs Spy
Day 62, 21:30
channel4

Housemates attending tonight's Ambassador's Ball are doing so in character but are facing another twist. They have been told that there is a Double Agent amongst them and must uncover his or her identity.

All the spies were around the dining table when Big Brother told them that one Housemate has another agenda.

The spies must now expose the Double Agent. Each spy must stand up and convince the others that they are not the Double Agent. When each spy had made their case, the group will decide who they think the Double Agent is.

Should the group correctly pick Kemal, they will fail their weekly task.

Whoever the spies choose will be sent to the Interrogation Room - a dismal jail cell - to await their fate.

The Housemates are unaware that the unmasked Double Agent will return again tomorrow morning - if they survive.

Eugene is so funny drunk!

Looks as if the gerbils have screwed this one up but the result is that Mr Laud is now safely locked up in a cell.

The problem is that he is not the double agento so Skippy is still free

Hilarious outcome for Derek - Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke

Liking Eugene more every day

Double Derek
Day 62, 22:00
channel4

The spies at the Ambassador's Ball believe they have uncovered the Double Agent among them - Derek.

After a heated discussion that originally had Eugene down as the double-crosser, Craig rallied opinion round Derek.

Each Housemate tried to convince their fellow spies that they were who they said they were.

Aussie Shane (Anthony) said he "catches rattlesnakes in the wild" - hoping this morsel might eliminate him from suspicion; while Craig pointed the finger at Derek saying he had been "consorting with Big Brother".

Lord Marple (Derek) said, "I am the very best of British. I am what I say I am," while Eugene talked about his inventions.

Ritagianni (Kemal) - the real double agent - talked of the affair her husband was having with Toots (Orlaith) and managed to divert suspicion away from him.

Penelope (Makosi) said she was trying to make energy from seawater and had no time to be a Double Agent, while Toots said she wanted to be respected for her romantic poetry.

Eugene was the only one to correctly guess that Kemal was the Double Agent, pointing to "the toilet incident" and the time he's spent in the Diary Room lately.

But Anthony, Makosi and Orlaith all pointed the finger at Eugene.

Craig said, "Eugene wouldn't be able to handle it," and insisted he had counted Derek going to the Diary Room six times in a short period of time.

Derek was then despatched to the Diary Room and then on to the Interrogation Room. Finding himself alone in a cell, he said it was "absolutely splendid".



"It's like Winston Churchill's bunker," he said, delightedly.

But what will Big Brother have in store for the captured spy?

Hmmm, what happens to captured spies?

The marigold treatment. No, he'd enjoy that.

Electrocution of sensitive body parts. Ditto. Damn.

How about a tape on continuos loop of Tony Benn reading selected extracts from his diaries?

The Spying Pain




Derek made a call to Big Brother from the Interrogation Room to ask for painkillers. Apparently the camp bed was hurting his back. Maybe it won't take much interrogating to break Derek!

Four hours after he first entered the secret room, Derek was out of bed. Looking very much like a skinny Sumo in his pants with his tie sported bandana-style around his head, Derek spoke to Big Brother from the Interrogation Room phone.

He complained that the camp bed that he had to sleep on was hurting an old back injury and asked for some painkillers to help him sleep.

Waiting for Big Brother to deal with his request, wrongly accused Derek tucked in to his provisions. He tore pieces off of a whole loaf of bread and munched that with chunks of cheese and an apple.

Pain relief taken, Derek tucked himself back up in his makeshift bed. After sixty-two days of sharing a room with all of his Housemates, it must have been very bizarre for Derek to find himself alone. At least he won't be disturbed by any of Anthony's late night pranks.

Sweet dreams Agent Derek, who knows what the Interrogation Room has in store for you tomorrow!


Ch4

Day 63, 10:24
channel4

Derek has gone AWOL and the group have woken up to their first morning without him, not realising that the missing Housemate is close at hand.

Last night Derek was banished to the interrogation room after the gang wrongly accused him of being a double agent at the Ambassador's Ball. He's spent an uncomfortable night in solitary confinement, but the others think he is gone forever.

This morning's alarm pop call was Betty Boo's popular classic, "Where Are You Baby?" - a question which the sleepy six immediately started asking of dearly departed Derek.

"Come back Derek, please!" Kemal wailed into the morning air as Betty's perky beats bopped out.

But Derek couldn't, or wouldn't reply and the mystery of the missing Housemate remained unanswered.

For now.

Day 63, 10:56
channel4

Like a water-bound bloodhound, Makosi has been trying to unravel the riddle of the vanishing Derek whilst splashing around in the pool.

When it comes to double dealing, Makosi is a bit of an expert, and the former Secret Agent doesn't believe that Derek has been evicted, not for a second.

"Derek, come out!" Makosi coaxed, making waves in the pool. "We know you are out there!" she sang.

"Ooh, my lungs are quite powerful this morning!" Makosi commented, momentarily distracted from her private investigation by her own superb bellowing ability.

Meanwhile, the missing Housemate was wide-awake in the Interrogation Room, swotting up on his undercover tactics by reading a book called "How To Be A Spy".




He's got a lot of catching up to do before he's on a level with eagle-eyed Agent Makosi though...

He's Back!


Derek's back in the House and he's brought with him the results of this week's spy task.

He could have abseiled in on a cheese wire, come up through the pool in full diving gear or disguised himself as Makosi's afro, but Derek chose the rather more normal route of the Diary Room door to make his return to the House.

Derek brought some super news with him from Big Brother. A laminate explained that for this week's REAL task one Housemate was working as a double agent and had sole responsibility for passing the task.

We all know it was Kemal, but the Housemates thought it was Del Boy. Fortunately the Housemates' rubbish detective skills mean that they have passed this week's task.


Celebrating their good fortune everyone tried to uncover the real agent. "Who was it?" Craig asked, staring around in wonder.

But Big Brother's laminate had signed off with this piece of advice. "Remember, a good spy will guard their secrets with their lives."

Looks like Double Agent Kemal will be staying undercover for the foreseeable future...


Ch4

He's Back: Liar Liar




Returned Housemate Derek has been lying through his teeth since strutting back through the Diary Room door.

Faced with a barrage of questions about his whereabouts last night, Derek soared off on flights of fancy that kept even Makosi guessing.

"I could see everything," he told the awed Housemates, "On screens!" he added with a flourish. Oh, Derek you little liar!

When asked what his living conditions had been like, Derek embellished on his tissue of lies further.

"They had done it up to look like my bedroom at home," he said. Unless Derek sleeps on a barracks style bed in a darkened room, reading books about spies, this is a falsehood.


Makosi can't work out whether she can trust him
"They must have spoken to my Housekeeper," Derek said, his lying pants now fully on fire.

As Anthony shamefully told Derek all about his drunken shenanigans last night, Derek pretended he had seen the whole thing.

"I thought my Housemates are more unintelligent than I thought they were," Derek commented wryly.

But Craig, Orlaith and Anthony have admitted that they don't believe a word he says.

Not so unintelligent after all, eh? Erm...

Ch4

So what did he actually DO in that room? Nothing?

Supermarket Sweet Turns Sour




We spoke too soon. An argument about food has kicked off between Kemal and Anthony as the shopping list caused another trolley load of strife.

Anthony had decided to take charge of the list this week, writing each food stuff onto the board and overseeing the operation.

It was all going swimmingly until Kemal announced that he would like to add some luxury items to the list, but would not enter the living area because of the smell.

After Anthony's repeated refusal to take the board out of the room, Kemal started to get rather irate. After all, it was his expert secret agent efforts that had secured the luxury food budget in the first place.

Anthony: First and last time I do the shopping list
"I just want to see what else is on there," Kemal said loudly.

"F****** hell, I've only done it once," Anthony said, refusing to surrender control of the board.

"I'm taking hold of the shopping list and if I'm not happy with it I'm changing it!" Kemal shouted.

At this point he decided to reveal his identity as the double agent. "I had to go through all that for 48 hours just so you could get that luxury shopping budget," he told Anthony angrily.

"So what?" Anthony responded, unimpressed by Kemal's claims.

Oh dear, it was all getting a bit nasty and when Anthony tried to lighten the mood by joking that he'd put Kemal's head in the bin, the belly dancer was not at all amused.

"Don't touch me," he pouted.

"Shut up," Anthony jeered.

Oh dear. They never have this sort of problem on Supermarket Sweep, do they Dale? cH4