BB FANS

On MSN BB site, it says BB producers to add a new element to spice up the house/show...

If this element is NOT a new HM/s - what could it be

A shotgun?

Some interesting housemates?

Some producers with actual brains!

A huge big bat to hit Fudder round the head with??

The Transvestite that was rumoured ???

No, Tania's already in!

A lion?

It's obviously a new housemate, as 2 are being evicted on Friday!

TASK 5:

The element of fire .

BB sets fire to the house and locks all doors and windows.

While Jon thinks of a logical way to escape, Gos seizes the initiative (never heard it called that before) and uses Ray's thick head to smash through the glass doors.

Tania, taking advantage of the situation, stays behind to light a fag. Fudd is not too happy at being set alight.

('Fag' here is used for comedic purpose and no offence is meant. Which is also God's excuse for making Fudd. Or so Cameron claims after another of his 1-2-1s with the Big Momma In The Sky.)

As the rest escape the inferno Jon's remains behind trying to work out how to battle the blaze working to the Kelvin scale.

Everyone escapes unhurt, even Jon, although the smell of burnt back hair permeates the air.

With the BB house reduced to ashes (much like the Channel 4 contract to produce any more BBs) the HMs have to live in the chicken coop for the remainder of the series. Nush finally does something useful and lays a fresh egg each morning.

Tania, disappointingly in contrast to past history, is no good at laying after all.

Jon who has salvaged a rubber glove before fleeing the house places it over his head and becomes rooster. But at each dawn he announces the time like the speaking clock in a monotone drone.

Bernard Matthews buys Big Brother from End-it-all saying it is the biggest Turkey he has ever seen. And seven weeks after they escaped the fire, the HMs end up in the frying pan. A bout of dysentry sweeps the nation.

And having watched this sh*t for 4 years, the nation now flushes it away for good and the Testcard returns to all channels 24/7 to huge viewing figures, reaching a peak when the stuffed clown, after decades of indecision over his next move, wins the game by placing an 'X' in the top left square.

They're going to leave the telephone box in the house, and use it to dispose of any unwary housemates, La Cabina style.

alanlapin I think you should apply to channel 4 for a job - with story lines like that you could make a fotune

Oh wow La cabina! I remember watching it on channel 4 many years ago when I was about 15 and it terrified the s*** out of me . My boyfriend at the time wouldn't go in a phone box without leaving his foot in the door after watching it

I've tried to find this on VHS or DVD but can't. I'd love to see it again.

Thanks LESLEYUK.

I did apply to be a producer for this year's BB, but on account of my being a half-wit I was rejected for being 50% over-qualified.

LOL alanlapin!

i think anyone with that level of imagination is OBVIOUSLY over qualified for BB production!! would've been excellent to have that kinda thinking in the team!!!

LMAO alanpalin

The thought of Nush laying an egg is hilarious.