A Priest, a Methodist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains
to the students of a University in Columbia. They would get
together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't
really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a Bear. One thing
led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would
all go out into the woods, find a Bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert
it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various
bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find
me a Bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me
around.
So I quick grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother
of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next
week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and
both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory
he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...WE
DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a Bear. And then I began to read to him from
God's HOLY WORD! But that Bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD
of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down! one hill, UP another and
DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick-DUNKED him and BAPTIZED
his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We
spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's Holy Word,
and praising Jesus."
They both turned and looked at the Rabbi who was lying in a hospital
bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and
out of him. I mean he was in real bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and says,
"Oy, you fellows don't know what trouble is until you try to circumcise one
of those hairy beasts!"
