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BEER COMPASS The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, how you got there, and where you've come from.
BRITNEY SPEARS Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".
DRINK-LINK A modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM). Named so because it is common to visit one before going out on the booze.
MONKEY BATH A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
JOHNNY-NO-STARS A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
MILLENNIUM DOMES The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nothing in there worth seeing.
GREYHOUND A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
MYSTERY BUS The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
_________________ I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM FOR MORPHINE
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