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Why We Love Children:
1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
"Because I p*ssed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child
innocently.
You did WHAT?! ?" The teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it
didn't move."
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2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No, you had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
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3. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's
sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was
wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned
over and said,
"That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes
and my Mom says it's a b*tch to iron."
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4. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus
five, that son of a b*tch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a b*tch is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you
teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son
of a b*tch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was,
two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
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" Compassion and concern for others are what attract friends" His Holiness The Dalai Lama.
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