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I'm sure this has been posted before, but.....
The Chav nativity
There's this bird, right, called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (whatever
that is).
She's not married nor nuffink, but she's livin wiv this bloke, Joe,
innit, in a crib dahn Nazaref. He does woodwork an that.
One day Mary meets this fella, Gabriel. She's like "Oo ya lookin at?"
Gabriel just goes "You got one up the duff, you ave."
Mary's totally gobsmacked! She gives it to im large "Stop dissin me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!"
So Mary goes and ! sees her cousin Liz, who's six mumfs gone erself.
Liz is largin it. She's filled wiv spirits, Barcardi-Breezers an that.
She's like "Oarright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me belly and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an that we
iz gonna get." Mary goes "Yeah, s'pose you're right."
Mary n Joe ain't got no money so they has to ponse a donkey, an go
dahn Beflehem on that. They get to this boozer an Mary wants to stop,
yeah? To have her bay-bee an that.
But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an Joe break n
enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an sheep an that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking propper blingin, wiv crahns
on their eads. They're like "Reespec, bay-bee Jesus", an say they're
wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: "If you're so wise, wotchoo doin wiv this Frankenstein an
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?"
It's all about to kick off, when Gabriel turns up again an sez he's
got another message, from this Lord geezer.
He's like "The filf is comin an they're killin all the bay-bees. You
better nash off to Egypt."
Joe goes "You must be monged if you think I'm goin dahn Egypt on that
minging donkey"
Gabriel sez "S! uit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay."
So, they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-borns an
it's safe an that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an Jesus turns water
into Stella.
The End
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