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"New Living Will Form"
I, __________________________, being of sound
mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely
by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the
hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth
grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/
doctors interested in simply running up the bills.
If a reasonable amount of time passes, and I fail to
ask for at least one of the following:
______ a Bloody Mary,
______ a Margarita
______ a Scotch on the Rocks
______ a Martini
______ a Vodka and Tonic
______ a Sex on a Beach
______ a Steak
______ Lobster or Crab Legs
______ the Remote Control
______ a Bowl of Ice Cream
______ Chocolate
______ Great Sex
______ Red Wine
It should be presumed that I won't ever get better!
When such a determination is reached, I hereby
instruct my appointed person and attending physicians
to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.
At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz
Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral,
and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to
toast the good times we have had.
Signature: ___________________________
Date: _______________________________
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