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Man: I am a knockout lover
Wife: Yeah count to 10 and its all over.
Three men are granted a wish, and they each wish for a swimmimg pool filled with their favourite tipple.
The first man goes down the pool slide shouting 'Whisky', and the pool fills with whisky. The second goes down the slide shouting 'Brandy' and it fills with Brandy, the third, who is already very drunk goes down the slide and shouts 'Wheee!'
Jimmy: Teacher caught me using a bad word today, and asked where I'd learnt it.
Father: What did you say?
Jimmy: I didnt want to give you away so i blamed the parrot.
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