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While I was "flying" down the road (at 10 mph over the speed limit), I
passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other
side lying in wait.
The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and, with that classic
patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh, yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
Clearly caught off guard, the cop stammered, "A what? A rectum
stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well, I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up
to two fingers, then three, then four, then, with my whole hand in, I
work side to side until I can get both hands in. And then I slowly but
surely stretch until it's about six feet wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a six-foot asshole?" The cop
demanded.
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him
behind a bridge ...."
Traffic Ticket: $95.00
Court Costs: $45.00
The look on the cop's face: PRICELESS
_________________
I never met you
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