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sort of a joke, but......
Holiday Greetings to everyone,
I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my family and friends, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without
offending someone. So I met with my solicitor yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an
environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive,
gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced with
the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices
of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or
traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular
traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar
year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other
cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great
(not to imply that England is necessarily greater than any other country)
and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability,
religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable
at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as
expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one
year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes
first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a
new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a
significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.
Happy CHRISTmas.
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