|
A major flood hit on Monday evening - 25th June 2007.
Epicentre: Rotherham , England . News of the disaster was swiftly carried
abroad by the town's 35,000 racing pigeons, as victims were seen wandering
around aimlessly muttering "fookinhell" and "chuffinnorah". The flood
decimated the town, causing £30 worth of damage. Several priceless
collections of mementos from the Balearic Isles and the Spanish Costas were
damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical burnt out cars were
disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Giro arrived. Radio
station RotherFM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something
interesting had happened in Rotherham . One resident, 15 year old mother of
3, Tracy Sharon Braithwaite said: "It was such a shock, my little
Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my bedroom crying. The twins,
Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when
I was watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning". Locals were determined not to
be bowed, as looting, muggings and car crime carried on as normal. So far,
whilst the British Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny
Delight to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals, rescue
workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities of
personal belongings including, benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke
at Argos , and bone china from Pound-stretcher. Can You Help? Please
respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing for the victims of
this disaster. Clothing is needed most of all, especially:· Fila or
Burberry baseball caps· Kappa tracksuit tops (his or hers)· Shell suits
(female)· White sports socks· Rockfort boots or any other product sold in
Primark Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but
your efforts will make a difference. Microwave meals, tinned baked beans,
ice-cream and cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew are ideal. Please do not
give anything that requires peeling. Remember:· 22p buys a biro for filling
in compensation claims· £2 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a
family of 9· £5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm a
child's nerves Urgently required: Tinned whippet food. Bones for Jack
Russells Please do not send tents for shelter. The sight of such posh
housing will cause residents to believe they have been forcebly relocated
to Sheffield
_________________
I never met you
|
