These are from the BBC website...made me laugh!!
Happy Red Nose Day
A storm hits the farmyard and all the sheep, pigs and cows are blown off their feet. The bulls remain standing upright. "How on earth did you remain standing in that wind ? " asks one of the sheep "Ah" says the bull, "we bulls wobble but we don't fall down".
A man walks into a doctors office with a penguin on his head.
"Can I help you?" asks the doctor,
"Yes" says the penguin, "can you get this thing off my foot?"
I went out last night and ate 16 yoghurts...
... I was mullered!
Q: What kind of vehicles are in the Bible?
A: Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
A: David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
A: Honda... because the apostles were all in one Accord.
A man walks into a chip shop with a fish under his arm and asks the serving girl,
"Do you sell fishcakes?"
The girls says,
"Yes we do sir."
The man replies.
"Oh good! It's his birthday"
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson - he brought the house down.
Q: What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A: Your mother ate us out of house and home.
A white horse goes into a pub.
The landlord says, "Do you know, I serve a whisky named after you!"
The horse says, "What? Colin?"
1. This cowboy walks into a German car showroom and he says "Audi"......
2. I met this bloke with a Didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought "that's Aboriginal?"......
3. This lorry full of Tortoises collided with a van full of Terrapins. It was a Turtle disaster.....
4.. I was reading this book today, "The History of Glue". I couldn't put it down.....
5. I went into a shop and said "can someone sell me a kettle?" the bloke said, "Kenwood" I said "where is he then?
What did the male photographer say to the female photographer?
Let's get together and see if something develops...!
