Monday 17 January
John lets loose
John Lays Down The Law
No one would expect John to go quietly, and he didn't disappoint. He gave an interview with Davina full of fire, brimstone, indignation and outrage.
Davina asked him about his diet cola protest and he was still adamant and still angry about it.
"They didn't say they would take some of [the shopping] back."
You were told you would gain some shopping and ...
I've got a contract!
Big Brother can...
Big Brother can't break a contract!
It was funny though.
It wasn't funny at all. Disgusting.
There was one period where you stayed quiet for 14 hours. How hard was that?
It wasn't hard at all because I was fighting a battle.
What were you thinking about?
I was determined not to do what they wanted me to do. I fought to get out of there and I got what I wanted.
The only upsetting thing was losing the gorgon. I vegetated for a week without her. I read the papers 3 times a day. I live on news. The only person I could learn from was the gorgon. I've never changed my mind about anyone like that. An incredible woman. I learnt so much from her.
She's so last week. Let's talk about your other Housemates.
Jeremy?
He's a pretty boy with no depth. He could well win. Nice chap but no depth.
Brigitte?
She's like a meringue; she's so in love with herself. I would like her to win though.
Kenzie?
The one with hope. Hope to change. He's trying to learn but if he wins it will be seen as the yobbo vote. He's lazy, he's idle and plays on the little boy thing though.
Lisa?
Earth mother, bossy, jolly hockey sticks. She stood tall. I love Lisa. She used the 'c' word on me and I thought that wonderful. She's a proper woman. Cuddly, you can get hold of her.
Caprice?
Cash register limited. All about her grubby little company and bras. Don't buy her lingerie!
John, you've been amazing
You said that to everyone.
And with that last unimpressed barb, John was reunited with his wife.
"Have you missed her?" asked Davina.
"Oh yes," he said, before asking the studio audience, "Isn't this woman wonderful? The great Booby!"
Check back soon to see how the House are managing without him!
Ch4
