BB FANS

I can't believe it, my ONLY television in the entire house has broken.
It's dead, kaputi, finito.

Can someone keep me updated on here with what's going on in the house tonight?

* Truly pacing the room with hands permanently plastered to head, whining 'I don't believe it', Victor-Meldrew stylee *

In all seriousness that sucks.

As to what's going on in the house, Bridge has finally flipped and stuffed Kenzie up Bez's bottom.

Not quite the way I hoped the Benzie Beast would be born into the world, but it'll do.

Bridge's odds have widened and now the double-gobsh!te abomination is favourite to win and have the Christmas No.1. The efficiency of being able to make an awful noise at both ends at once has saw Cowell throw in the towel.

Were you watching CBB at the time?

I can just see the headlines in The Scum:

Viewer's TV harshest critic of reality show.

The telly confided to our electronics and farming reporter: "I'd just had enough of the drivel and decided to short my own circuits".

Distraught viewer, Truly, said "I did not notice the lengthy periods of inactivity on my screen at first, but when I hadn't heard an inane Mancunian laugh or a 'know wad a mean?' for twenty seconds, I realised my set had packed in."

The set refuses to be mended until quality programmes are transmitted again.

BBC, ITV, and Channel 4 bosses were unavailable for comment upon when such a time shall come again.

alanlapin!

You only have ONE tv?
Try Tesco's, they'll be open until 10pm and they're bound to have a cheapy one!

Too late....they have just dropped Jackie back into the compound by parachute and she has machine-gunned the inmates.

Rumour has it that the incident was being filmed as a trailer for the next Rambo Musical

I like-a this version betta.