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Madeline

Daily media coverage:
Find out who Jeremy is petrified of and Lisa I’Anson is scared of ........
Sun

Madeline

Take a deep breath before you see the photo of John

Sun

Madeline

"Don't call me an old fart!"
Friday 07 January

To the horror of glamour girl Caprice, John tonight declared himself a proud farter.

And it wasn't just the prospect of his malodorous gases that offended her. It seems the lady has delicate ears to match her delicate nostrils - and doesn't like the word fart, preferring the term 'flatulate'.

"Every time you fart... or flatulate, or whatever," John began with gusto, "You live another ten minutes."

"You're getting the poisons out of your body," he explained.

"Oh John..." groaned Caprice.

"It's good for you, what's wrong with you, woman?" he retorted.

"You would just rip one wherever? You wouldn't excuse yourself?" she - perhaps foolishly - persisted, to which John replied, "Never stop farting, always do it."

"What's that smell?" says Kenzie

He then confessed to a proud nose-picking habit.

"Picking your nose is really healthy," he piped, "and eating it."

"John, do you drink your own pee-pee?" asked the flabbergasted gal.

"Certainly not!" he assured her. "But certainly pick your nose and get rid of it," he bubbled. "Mine's very tasty."

It was one pronoucement too far for Caprice, who told him he was disgusting.

But John wasn't too fazed. "Boobie says that," he giggled, "She really gets angry."

Well quite. It's just snot on.
Ch4

Madeline

Dirty Talk
Thursday 06 January

Only an hour in the House and the housemates are already working out a routine.

John and Brigitte were turfed out into the garden to sample some of his cigars as the group agreed smoking indoors was unacceptable.

The others gathered on the sofas to work out the best way to settle in. The priority for most of them seemed to concern their stomachs, with everyone wondering loudly whether Big Brother would supply them with a meal.

When their complaints fell on deaf ears, Germaine turned the conversation toward her hygiene concerns. "I suppose we can wash our smalls in the Jacuzzi," pondered the Aussie. Lisa kindly pointed out that a wash tub and mangle had been supplied for the purposes of laundry.

Still convinced her Big Brother experience is going to be a dirty one, Germaine added, "Well, they'll probably make us s*** in a bucket."

Hopefully not. Cg4

Madeline

Birthday Boy

Friday 07 January

Big Brother helped birthday boy Kenzie celebrate in style by throwing him a little party.

The youngest ever Big Brother contestant was supplied with nibbles and a cake to celebrate his nineteenth.

Housemates struggled to decide on how to cut the cake as it was in the awkward shape of a bikini-clad torso. They eventually plumped for a bit of belly.

Obviously pleased to get their hands on some grub, the group also laid noisily into their mini-pizzas.

Let them eat cake

The girls found there was even more to feast on in the fridge, although John was a little miffed that they had failed to notice this earlier. "Why didn't you women find it first?" he bellowed as they brought out fajitas.

Kenzie seemed a little underwhelmed by the spread or maybe he was just a little tired after the evening's excitement.

It was probably past his bedtime after all.
Ch4

carlypops

I once went passed john whattsiface in piccadilly train station rather obnoxious he had two dolly birds on his arms and spat on the floor and started pushing passed people and cursing like his needs were paramount to everybody elses it kind of put me off him, but i may grow to like him.

Just my personal experience on seeing him a few years back mind ,thanks for the updates madeline

Madeline

Germaine holds court

Politics Before Bedtime

Friday 07 January

A storm cloud threatened Kenzie's birthday celebrations tonight as talk turned to the world's weighty problems and the housemates declared their political allegiances.

Though Bez declared the political banter "boring", Germaine was clearly dying to share a conspiracy theory relating to the Asian tsunami.

"Does anyone know what happened at the American base in the Indian ocean - Diego Garcia?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

Before an intrigued John could get to the bottom of her suspicions, the chat moved swiftly on to the lack of a coordinated warning system when the earthquake struck.

"Wouldn't it be good if our ministries of defence realised that their job was the defence of humanity... against disaster," Germaine declared, to much positive murmuring from her new housemates.

Caprice can't get a word in edgeways

Continuing with current affairs, John proudly wore his political colours on his sleeve, professing himself a George Bush fan. "Best result we've had in ages," he commented on Bush winning a second term in the White House.

Lisa then took the floor as they debated whether the war in Iraq had been just about oil. "No one gives a s*** about Sudan and what's going on there!" she shouted.

With the big guns clearly about to come out, Germaine decided their manners had slipped. "We're breaking the basic rule of drawing room society," she said, despite the fact they were all lounging by a hot tub. "We are discussing politics - in a minute we'll slide into religion."

As it was Kenzie's birthday, she asked him for a new topic. "We're not going to talk about sad things any more," she assured him.

Somehow, we don't think it'll last...
Ch4

Madeline

Caprice is distinctly unimpressed!

Charm Offensive

Friday 07 January

John McCririck has continued to try to 'woo' Caprice, employing the 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' approach.

He no doubt thought he was off to a great start as he guffawed with Jeremy about how women like bad boys.

"It's the oldest trick in the book," blustered Jeremy, as feminist Germaine looked on sagely.

"That's what girls are like," agreed John.

He then dished out some personal observations.

"Women like you have had it easy all your lives," he told Caprice.

Caprice was unimpressed. "That is the most ignorant thing you've said all night," she retorted angrily.

"Well it's true," continued John, "A good-looking woman has it made."

When Caprice insisted she works hard, he responded, "Nobody says you don't work hard, prancing up and down the catwalk or whatever..."

"Did I say something wrong?"

Goodness! What a smoothie!

"No, the best thing is for men to go out with ugly girls," he rambled, "'Cos they're grateful for what they get."

"That thing there," he said, presumably meaning the exasperated American, "She's got so many men after her - she can't tell if they're after her for her intellect or her money."

If Caprice hadn't had enough of his blustering, Germaine certainly had and got up to loom over him.

"For f***'s sake John, leave the woman alone! You know sweet f***-all about her!" she shouted.

He backed down, but not before reasserting his advice to the assembled boys. "Always go with the ugly ones," he finished, before urging Caprice not to feel wound up and scuttling off to the House.

Gosh, he's a catch!
Ch4

cheekiechickie

Quote:

Racing pundit John McCririck wasted no time offending the women in the Celebrity Big Brother house.

The self-confessed sexist had a furious row with model Caprice and feminist Germaine Greer in the early hours of this morning.

He told Caprice: “Women like you have had it easy all your lives.”

An angry Caprice told him: “That is the most ignorant thing you’ve said all night,”

But McCririck replied: “Well, it’s true. A good-looking woman has it made.”

As Caprice protested, he told her: “Nobody says you don’t work hard, prancing up and down the catwalk or whatever ....”

Continuing with his rant, McCririck declared: “No, the best thing is for men to go out with ugly girls because they’re grateful for what they get.”

Gesturing at Caprice, he went on: “That thing there, she’s got so many men after her, she can’t tell if they’re after her for her intellect or her money.”

Greer cut him off by shouting: “For f***’s sake John, leave the woman alone. You know sweet f*** all about her.”

McCririck had already upset Caprice by talking about farting – which the model hates and refers to as “flatulating”.

He said: “Every time you fart, or flatulate, or whatever, you live another 10 minutes. You’re getting the poisons out of your body.”

When Caprice groaned, he demanded: “It’s good for you, what’s wrong with you, woman? Never stop farting, always do it.”

He added: “Picking your nose is really healthy, and eating it. Mine’s very tasty.”

McCririck also shared his political opinions with the other housemates.

“Best result we’ve had in ages,” he said of George Bush winning a second term in the White House.

The eight celebrities – Jeremy Edwards, Lisa I’Anson, Brigitte Nielsen, Bez from the Happy Mondays and Kenzie from pop group Blazin’ Squad complete the line-up – entered the house last night.

Big Brother kicked off proceedings by throwing a party for Kenzie, who celebrated his 19th birthday yesterday.

McCririck introduced himself to Caprice by asking: “Are you the totty?”

The pundit proclaimed her his new girlfriend and said: “She’s got a lot of lust in her eyes.”

His sexist ranting has made him 3/1 favourite to be evicted first.

Warren Lush of Ladbrokes said: “It’s clear that McCririck’s behaviour has gone down like a lead balloon with punters and fellow housemates.”

Edwards is the new favourite to win the £50,000 prize.

Bookmakers cut the ex-Holby City star’s odds from 4/1 to 2/1 after last night’s launch show.

Edwards, 33, ex-boyfriend of singer Rachel Stevens, has promised to play practical jokes on the other housemates. He has watched every Big Brother series and says he is a huge fan.

Ladbrokes spokesman Warren Lush said: “Punters seem smitten with Jeremy and we’ve been forced to slash his odds in half. As an avid Big Brother fan we have little doubt that he is playing a game.

“He’s going to sit back, watch others explode and then make his move with schoolboy pranks. Bookies also consider the fact that as eye candy for the ladies he’s bound to be popular.”

Bookmakers have also cut the odds of two celebrities having sex in the house, with Nielsen favourite to be first.

“Nutty Brigitte is 5/1 favourite for a Big Brother bonk but nobody can be sure who she’ll try and get her claws into first,” Warren Lush said.

“We believe we spotted Brigitte taking off her engagement ring only a couple of hours after entering the house and have little doubt that she’s looking for a short-term partner.

“Bookies fancy, however, that the housemates most likely to pair off are Caprice and Jeremy, especially as Jeremy now has his own room.”

Scotsman

Madeline

Where's my breakfast in bed?

Bed And Breakfast?

Friday 07 January

Champagne, orange juice and smoked salmon were on the menu for the first morning in the Big Brother House - at least they were in the mind of John McCririck.

At 9.55am the drone of badly played bagpipes stirred the housemates from a deep sleep, prompting John to place a cheeky order for breakfast in bed.

"I'd like fresh orange, a glass of champers, smoked salmon and scrambled egg," he announced.

After disappearing back under his duvet for a few seconds, he re-emerged to remind his imaginary butler that "room service had better be sharpish".

Germaine: defiantly positive

Fairly certain that John's demands weren't going to bear fruit, the other housemates embarked on the painful process of getting out of bed.

"The Queen has pipers, and so have we," remarked Germaine, defiantly positive in the wake of the dreadful din.

Others were less keen to look on the bright side. "Shut up!" yelled Lisa, while others expressed similar sentiments in slightly more colourful language.

Seven minutes of bagpipes later, peace was restored in the house, and one by one the housemates began their day.
Ch4

Madeline

Need an aspirin Bez?

Reality Shock

Friday 07 January

While the housemates slowly adjust to life under the watchful eye of Big Brother, Bez appears to be living in another kind of reality.

The animated Bez that was on display during last night's champagne welcome looks to have gone on holidays, if Bez's state of silence and confusion is anything to go by.

He kept his lips sealed and stared at Germaine in amazement as she led a lively discussion on the problems faced by the Australian Aborigines.

Shuffling awkwardly at the foot of his bed, his sole contributions to the debate were an occasional yawn or change of position.

Germaine had begun the mini-lecture on the Aboriginal people when the housemates found themselves locked in the bedroom whilst Big Brother carried out essential maintenance. But we can only speculate as to whether it was this confinement which appeared to be having such a muting effect on Bez.

Unstirred and unmoved by the strength of opinions flying back and fore, Bez simply strolled from the base of his bed to a more comfortable position - lying outstretched and face down on the bedroom floor.
Ch4

Madeline

CELEBRITY JOB CLUB Jan 7 2005

THE new Big Brother was last night dubbed Celebrity Job Club after it emerged only one of the stars is in full-time work.

The female housemates are Caprice, Brigitte Nielsen, ex-Radio 1 DJ Lisa I'Anson and Germaine Greer.

Joining them in the camera-filled house are former Happy Mondays singer Bez, ex-Holby City star Jeremy Edwards and former Blazin' Squad rapper Kenzie.

Racing pundit John McCririck completes the line-up - but even his job is in doubt as Channel 4 plans to axe its racing coverage.

But yesterday the 64-year-old said: "I'm not taking part in the show to enhance my career. I'm a failed bookie, a failed punter and a failed journalist."

Channel 4 bosses have deliberately picked people they think will not get on.

Greer, 65, is a feminist, while McCririck is a self-confessed chauvinist who calls his wife The Booby after a stupid South American bird which squawks a lot.

He thinks he will only last in the house for 24 hours. "I want to be the fastest voted off evictee," he said.

Aussie Greer, who is taking earplugs into the house, admits to not wearing underwear and likes to sleep in the nude. She joked: "It's going to be so hard for me to remember to keep my bits covered up."

Dane Brigitte Nielson, 41, also intends to wander around topless, adding: "If people can't handle it then I'll be-bop out of there."

The eight will have plenty of opportunity to strip off despite the wintry conditions as bosses have built a sauna and hot-tub.

Meanwhile, Caprice is hoping to find love in the house. She explained: "If there was someone sensitive in there that I'd be able to connect, with I'd go for it."

But romance looked a distant dream last night after the US-born model, who claims to be 33, began life in the BB house suffering from a severe bout of food poisoning.

When she recovers, single TV heart-throb Jeremy Edwards, 33, could be her best bet for romance. The former Hollyoaks hunk, who used to date pop princess Rachel Stevens, has spent days preparing for the show. "I've been sitting in silence, meditating and centering myself," he said.

In contrast, firey Lisa I'Anson, 39, says she is up for a rumble, warning: "I always get my own way - I'm a bit of a moody cow."

But she could meet her match in Bez - famous for his wild behaviour during his time with the 90s indie band. The 40-year-old said: "I'm in it for the entertainment value... and also to make some wages."

Kenzie - who celebrated his 19th birthday yesterday - is the youngest person to take part in the adult version. But he still thinks he'll win, boasting: "I think I could do it."

Show boss Sharon Powers said: "Eight big characters living in such a small space should make for an interesting watch."

TV chiefs are to donate 9p from every phone vote to the tsunami appeal, which some of the stars have also chosen as their charity. For every one million calls received, £90,000 will be raised for the fund.

Mirror

cheekiechickie

Quote:

'Celebrity Big Brother' has begun on Channel 4 with the eight contestants meeting each other for the first time on last night's show.

The contestants are: former Happy Mondays member Bez, model Caprice, actor Jeremy Edwards, author and critic Germaine Greer, DJ and presenter Lisa I'Anson, Blazin' Squad member Kenzie, racing pundit John McCririck and actress Brigitte Nielsen.

Bez is the bookies' favourite to win at odds of 2/1, with the £50,000 prize fund being divided equally among the contestants' chosen charities.

A percentage of the money made from each public eviction vote will be donated to victims of the tsunami disaster.

Here

cheekiechickie

Quote:

Celebrity Big Brother helped new contestant and birthday boy Kenzie celebrate in style by throwing him a little party.

The youngest ever Big Brother contestant was supplied with nibbles and a cake to celebrate his nineteenth, reports the Official Celebrity Big Brother website.

Housemates struggled to decide on how to cut the cake as it was in the awkward shape of a bikini-clad torso. They eventually went for a bit of the belly!

Obviously pleased to get their hands on some grub, the group also laid noisily into their mini-pizzas.

The girls found there was even more to feast on in the fridge, although John was a little miffed that they had failed to notice this earlier. "Why didn't you women find it first?" he bellowed as they brought out fajitas.

FemaleFirst

Celebrity Big Brother Kicks Off

Madeline

CELEBRITY BB: NIELSEN'S EX IN WARNING

Jan 7 2005

CELEBRITY Big Brother star Brigitte Nielsen will eat the others for breakfast, ex Flavor Flav said yesterday.

The outspoken 6ft Danish actress, 41, began a red-hot relationship with the Public Enemy rap star last year on US reality TV show The Surreal Life.

The couple kissed passionately and even swam naked.

Flavor, 45, warned: "If they step up to Brigitte, she will strike them out.

"She is bad to the bone. She loves to flirt a lot, you know what I'm saying. She loves to dominate."

Flav, real name William Drayton, has filmed a reality show Strange Love with Brigitte for VH1.

The rapper, who is also releasing solo album Rise Fall Rise, said Brigitte could win the show. "She'll get the prize right before their eyes," he said.

Mirror

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