27 Oct 2004
Anorak
THE National TV Awards is traditionally a tame affair, and last night was no exception with ne’er a piece of pizza or a bowl of pea soup being thrown.
The evening passed without a sandwich flying into orbit, Judy Finnegan drank her champagne without spilling it and the only hint of trouble were some bread crumbs left on Table 13.
In short, the food at the Royal Albert Hall did what food at these bashes is supposed to do - it remained determinedly on the plate.
And that’s good news with the array of expensive dresses on display in this morning’s paper.
Would we have wanted to see Hollyoaks’ Jodi Albert on the front of the Star picking mozzarella from her impressive cleavage?
Would Coronation Street’s Tina O’Brien have been smiling quite as broadly on the front of the Mirror if she had just got an egg and cress sandwich in the face?
And what a shame it would have been if Carol Voderman’s full-length white Hardy Amies dress had been splattered with green soup!
Thankfully, however, the evening passed without incident. Even the streaker who leapt on stage as Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne were presenting an award was wearing a G-string.
So, we should move straight to the awards themselves and tell you how Suranne Jones won the Best Actress award, David Jason was Best Actor (for the 37th year in a row), Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? was Best Quiz (for the sixth year in a row) and Ant & Dec won Best Entertainment Presenter.
But that would be missing the point – these shows are all about the frocks.
And the Sun’s fashion editor Erica Davies has found a horror among the satin and babydoll numbers that were the order of the day for most guests.
Step forward, Big Brother’s Michelle, who “looked appalling in a far-too-tight brown asymmetric frock and heavy brown shoes” with matching lank-haired goon in cowboy hat... 
