Humphrys joins TV's Grumpy Old Men
When Clive James announced this week that "television, as it is today, is not something I want to part of," he was the latest in a long line of respected broadcasters on whom the appeal of watching D-list celebrities swallowing unmentionable things in the jungle is entirely lost.
From tonight, that list will include John Humphrys, the respected Today programme presenter, who is expected to launch an attack on the dumbing down of the industry when he takes the stand this evening to deliver the MacTaggart lecture at the MediaGuardian Edinburgh International Television Festival.
The MacTaggart, one of the highlights of the festival, gives the industry's highest profile players the chance to let rip on the state of the business. Greg Dyke, Rupert Murdoch, Janet Street-Porter and Dennis Potter have all held forth in past years.
Unbelievably for one of the country's most revered media professionals, when he was asked to give the lecture Humphrys said he didn't even own a TV and hadn't watched one for four years.
His subsequent crash-course in modern television since a set was installed by the festival organisers is expected to provoke some scathing criticism from the master of the acid putdown.
As well as the inevitable criticism of reality television, Humphrys is understood to have prepared some harsh words for the BBC's efforts under former director general Greg Dyke to popularise its political coverage to counter voter apathy and win over younger viewers.
The revamp resulted in a little watched programme presented by former Today programme editor Rod Liddle and The Sharp End, a show presented by Clive Anderson billed as a "witty and sophisticated" take on politics.
Humphrys, former presenter of the now defunct politics show On the Record, is understood to feel that politics should not be dumbed down - a view borne out by the ratings for the BBC's political programmes, which suggest viewers favour intelligent analysis over gimmicky efforts to "sex up" politics.
But Humphrys is not the only media bigwig forsaking today's TV. He joins a long list of TV veterans, Grumpy Old Men and Women if you like, who cannot stand the current state of the business.
Legendary chat show host Michael Parkinson, film critic Barry Norman, sports presenter Des Lynam and showbusiness lifer Bruce Forsyth are among those to have voiced their discontent and bewilderment at the state of modern telly.
Michael Parkinson - neglected in favour of digital TV
Parkinson defected from the BBC April and this week ahead of his new ITV show on Saturday let rip about the corporation and all that's wrong with it in an interview with celebrity magazine Heat.
He accused the BBC of neglecting its biggest shows to concentrate on digital channels and admitted he was "really, really pissed off" with the way he was treated. The corporation had taken his show for granted, lacked enthusiasm for it and failed to promote it, he said.
"They have so much to promote. Not only do they have programmes, but they've got new stations like BBC3 and BBC4 and the entire digital thing too. So you tend to get shoved to one side. Whether it's right or not, begin to resent that."
The last straw came for Parkinson when, having bought back the rights to the Premier League 18 months ago the BBC left it until there was just five days left to run on his contract to say it still hadn't made their mind up what to do with his show. He quit and joined ITV.
Des Lynam - hits out at everything TV Des Lynam launched a vicious attack this month on, well everything TV really - BBC bosses, ITV's adverts, reality TV; you name it, he's moaned about it. He told the Radio Times he "hates" Big Brother and would like to punch Simon Cowell.
And the moustachioed housewife's favourite, who is returning to the BBC five years after he quit for ITV, didn't stop there.
He said Michael Grade shouldn't be BBC chairman: "Bright as you like. But chairman of the BBC? Well, funnily enough, he'll do a damn good job, but he would have made a great director general. I think they may have given him the wrong job."
And his historical row with former director general Greg Dyke - Mr Dyke once said Lynam "looked tired and doesn't care any more" presenting ITV's The Premiership - is as fresh as ever.
"He [Dyke] thought I was uninterested and I wasn't doing it as well as I used to, and that was bollocks... I still haven't seen a letter of apology."
And ITV didn't escape Lynam's ire - he thought the adverts cramped his style: "The last Champions League they started putting in two lots of adverts - so you'd say 'good evening' - two minutes - adverts, another two minutes - adverts. It was cramping any style I may have."
Barry Norman - TV is crap
Veteran film critic Norman famously said: "I don't watch much television these days," but what he did watch was "crap".
We can only presume he wasn't talking about his own TV appearances.
Bruce Forsyth - bored and disgusted by TV
Brucey made his TV comeback this year at the grand old age of 76 with Strictly Come Dancing - and promptly gave BBC its biggest Saturday night hit for years.
A great position from which to launch a scathing attack on modern TV: "Sometimes it's so boring that you just flick over," said the veteran presenter.
Forsyth then held forth on a few matters that had been taxing him about TV.
His verdict on I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! was to the point: "Sometimes you watch it and you think, 'Is this a programme?' As regards people eating insects and all that, I mean I can't get into that."
And celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay's on-screen swearing is "disgusting" and set a dangerous precedent: "That's the generation we're in, that everyone's going to start swearing like that on every show... Whereas you know, when I was younger you couldn't say 'bloody'. If you said bloody on television you'd have to say sorry and it'd have to be cut out."
Forsyth also complained that the glut of reality TV programmes left no room in the schedules for traditional entertainment shows starring professional performers rather than amateurs.
Cilla Black - if it ain't broke
The grande dame of showbusiness, Black stunned ITV bosses and audiences by quitting Blind Date live on air in 2003 after 18 years following changes to the series with which she was unhappy.
Viewing figures had dropped from 17 million to fewer than 4 million for the Saturday night show and there had been rumours that she was to be replaced by Trisha Goddard or Davina McCall.
"I had always loved chatting to the contestants. I've always been an entertainer and I felt removing the chance for me to chat at the beginning of the show turned me more into just a presenter," she told the Sun.
"I am not against changes for the good. But my view has always been, 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it'," said the 40-year showbiz veteran.
The changes she was referring to included Big Brother-style video diaries and dates being chosen by viewers - as well as her reduced role at the start of the show.
The programme was also shunted to a 6pm slot to make way for Popstars: the Rivals.
Black said she chose to announce her decision live on air because "the viewers deserved to know first. They made me - they made the show." A quaint sentiment in today's TV, perhaps.
Mediaguardian
