7 Feb 2005
Anorak
IF
Kerry McPadding is still wondering why her Brian dumped her in favour of the antipodean charms of Delta Goodrem, she gets her answer this morning.
For the Express confirms what the former Westlife singer had long suspected - that his lettuce-shaking wife is turning into Barbara Windsor.
In fact, the paper warns that in 30 years' time, Kerry will look exactly like the Carry On star.
"Every era," it says, "needs its bubbly blonde who doesn't have much luck with men, and it's not just in that respect that Kerry has proved to be the perfect successor to Barbara Windsor."
Ironically, by 2035 Babs will have had so much cosmetic surgery that she will look like Kerry does now - and so the celebrity wheel will continue to turn.
Looking like Barbara Windsor, however, may not be such a bad thing...if Barbara Windsor is to be believed.
The 67-year-old claims that every single one of her male co-stars during her 50-year acting career has fallen for her charms.
"I don't think I have had a leading man who hasn't had the hots for me," she tells the Sun. "But you just deal with it."
If there is good news on that front for the likes of Christian Slater, who is turning into the priapic Jack Nicholson, life will not be so kind to others.
Victoria Beckham, for instance, is metamorphosing into Lorraine Chase, while the Express claims her husband David will end up looking like Albert Steptoe.
Mick Hucknall will become Ken Dodd, Robbie Williams Norman Wisdom and Caprice will be the spitting image of the Bride of Wildenstein.
But an even grimmer fate awaits Britney Spears - in 30 years' time, she will look like an older version...of herself.
