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not sure if this should be in jokes or gen chat??
But seeing as we could do with a diets thread...
In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums.
And Satan said, "You want hot fudge and chocolate chips with that?" And Man said "Yes!". And so they gained ten pounds.
And God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man
found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size twelve to fourteen.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big that it needed its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with
potassium and good nutrition.
Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into
chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt.
And Man put on more pounds.
Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied "Yes, and super size 'em." And Satan said "It is good."
And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed .......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
And then ........... Satan chuckled and created MRSA.
THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION
After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word
on nutrition and health:
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer
heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you!
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