I'm proud to say that my wife is 3 months pregnant with our second child. We found this out just other a month ago and she decided to lay down some ground rules, and prepared responses, about what I should and shouldn't do during the pre and post birth (I sort of needed reminding, I am a man after all)
1. A kick in your happy sacks may not trump being in labour for at least 6 hours.
2. Yes, they are bigger, but if you touch them then you may not get any fingers back.
3. 1 week after giving birth isn't long enough to try for another. Try it and we'll test run the happy sacks thing.
4. No, I wont cook dinner the next day
5. No, I don't normally have fat feet. But thank you for getting it wrong in the first place.
6. Call it a tent again and I'll lift it up and show you my stretch marks.
7. Don't ever call me lazy because I'm spread out on the sofa. If you carried this weight then you would as well.....Oh, you do.
Any mothers here who could add to the list?
My mum used to start every conversation with 'well because you're an older mother...' or 'so how much do you weigh now...?' and if anyone else has spoken to me like that I'd have gone mad - but then however hard your pregnancy is - that's what your own mother went through to have you so she can just about get away with anything imo!