Quote:
“Ma'am, the rebels in Djibouti are destabilising the region.”
“I knaaa that Quentin, I just don't knaaa how these Revels got into me booties in the first place. And how do ya knaaa that they're destab..destab…messin' with my wotsit?”
Now, ignore if you will that poor attempt at expertly executed humour. Instead concentrate on the scary fact at hand: this could be the future of Britain.
It could be, but it almost certainly won't.
That, however, won't stop Jade Goody from trying to become Britain's next prime minister. Because that's what the kebab-munching mingaaaargh is planning to do.
According to The Daily Star, anyway.
Yes, in the kind of ‘Exclusive' that has you wondering whether these people really spent all that time at University to break this kind of story, Jade has revealed that she's running for office. And her mandate? To make sanitary towels free and rent for Over-50s freer.
A source close to Jade revealed that she barely knew what day it was – let alone whether she'd run in the next election. A source close to MPs everywhere said ‘bovvered?'.
Which is not what Justin Hawkins bandmates must have said when they learnt that the lead singer of The Darkness was quitting.
In fact, they probably said something which we couldn't possibly write on a family website.
The spandex-clad crooner has confessed that he “can't do it anymore.” And then he confessed that he blew £150,000 on cocaine in three years. Cue no righteous condemnation from the tabloids, simply an ‘oh'.
And finally, David Bowie has landed the role of Spongebob Squarepants in a new movie. Which is genius.
Not a Goody Idea
