“Big Brother Was Fixed”
5th Apr 07
After days of trying to keep Big Brother in the public eye, the Star has stumbled upon a story.
It hears from a “top Big Brother executive”. And they’re saying: “Yes, we did fix the show.”
The Stars equips the news with shots of Jade ‘Hoodie’ Goody and Pete ‘W***ers’ Bennett, who won last summer’s Big Brother.
Says BB chief “Tim Hincks”: “We did try to fix something once. In Big Brother 1...”
What’s this? The Star’s headline is about the first ever show? And the news is that the producers wanted someone in show to calm things down. So they introduced ‘Nasty’ Nick Bateman.
Bateman, of course, went on to achieve no little fame, his star reaching its apogee with the publication of the book How To Be A Right B*st*rd.
“Big Bruv a big con,” says the Star’s voice. It says the Big Brother producers are “up to their necks in fixes”.
And in “BIG BRO: YES..IT’S A FIX”, the paper highlights the “10 dodgiest moments that ‘conned ‘BB viewers.”
There is mention made of Makosi Musambasi (supplied by a talent agency), Antony Hutton (gay kiss edited out), Jade’s grooming before eviction and Golden Ticker winner Snoozie Verrico.
It is litany of injustices. And we must thank the Star for shining a light upon it.
While other papers wavered and focused on house prices, soap operas or else stuck to the mantra “if it bleeds it leads”, the Star has resolutely stayed loyal to Big Brother.
And now is not the time to give up. We urge the Star to keep on going. This story could run and run and run...
anorak
