7 August 2006
DailyRecord
By Pat Roller
THERE'S no letup. Big Brother and Love Island are still limping along on our screens, but already there is speculation about the next series of
I'm A Celebrity ...
It was reported yesterday that Rachel (I'm Still Here, Honest) Stevens has been approached to take part, although an ITV spokesman would only say: "We can't confirm anything. We've approached loads of people."
Still, it would make sense. There's always a used-to-be-famous pop star in there - think Kerry Katona, Peter Andre. So, if we study the producers' form guide, we can probably predict the next line-up.
There's usually a chef, or at least someone who knows how to cook. Gillian McKeith, please. There's a face that couldn't get any sourer no matter what species of testicle it was chewing on.
Then there's the glam and famous type, typified by Jordan. Look no further than Jodie Marsh. Next, the glam one you'd forgotten about, usually talentless - Kimberley Davies last time. Jodie, you win again.
Getting close, now. There's always a posh type. How about, well, Posh? A diet of a bowl of rice and a handful of grubs a day would fatten her up nicely.
Nearly there. We need an ex-con, or at any rate someone who's had a brush with the law. Jeffrey Archer, easy.
Lastly, we need the relative of a famous politician, since Carol Thatcher was such a hit last time. All the producers need to do is approach Cherie Blair: Yes, that's right, Mrs Blair, we fly you there, and we put you up for two weeks... no honestly it's a free holiday ... in fact we'll pay you ...please stop biting my hand, Mrs Blair...
Simple, this TV lark, isn't it?
