Kerry's Katona's Knotted Tights
11.02.2007
LIFE has not always been kind to Kerry Katona since she shook her “lettuce” on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here?
But the now former Mrs Kerry McPadding has found love. And the new love of her life is Mark Croft, a man described by the News Of The World as a “coke-dealing cabbie”.
And you can add “romantic” to Mark’s credits because, as OK! reports, Mark is to marry Kerry on St Valentine’s Day. And - yes – this is the very same St Valentine’s Day that is, as Kerry says, “also our anniversary”.
And this may well be fortuitous. The NOTW says Mark has been jailed for taking drugs in the Navy and aware of the impact drugs can have on the memory, wise is the user that aligns memorable dates with times of public celebration.
But before Mark and Kerry can make Valentine’s Day their own special Day, and Mark can buy Kerry her fist kebab on Christmas Day, her first curry on Easter Day and her first breast operation on New Year’s Eve, we receive news.
The NOTW hears from Julie Shuker, who dated Croft for almost four years. Julie does not tell us when she and Mark shared their first kiss, their first chip supper, their first batted sausage, but she does recall the time Mark gave her a pill.
Says Julie: “We were out and Mark gave me a tablet and told me it was ecstasy. He said, ‘Go on, have one. It'll make you feel good'. I said, ‘I don't want to, I don't want to die'. He told me I would be fine and I felt pressured to take it. Stupidly I did."
Julie goes on: "I remember going to the toilet. Then the next thing I remember is a girl picking me up off the floor. She took me to Mark and he just draped me over his shoulder and dragged me around all night."
The NOTW has a picure of Julie. She is possessed of what large Americans term “stature”. For Mark, a man of unexceptional physique, to have dragged her around “all night” must have taken no small effort.
And while we picture the scene, Julie has a warning for Katona. “Mark is very greedy and money orientated. I hate to say it but I think one of the main reasons he's with her is because she's a millionaire.”
We could asks what other reasons there might be for being with Kerry, but to be so would be to stray from the NOTW’s point. So we remain silent and listen in.
And we hear Julie and Mark having relations. Says Julie: “We had a balcony with a banister on it. He tied me to it with a pair of tights and blindfolded me and we had sex. I felt degraded and was glad when it was over, but Mark got a kick out of it."
She says Marks once got her to smother his face in make-up. And: "Once he told me to walk out of the house in just my coat, so I was naked underneath. We'd only walked to the end of the path when he started kissing and groping me.
"We had sex there and then outside while people were wandering around the estate. Getting caught was a big thrill for him.”
Right it is that Julie should bring this to light in the pages of a national newspaper. She makes a stand for dignity.
But will Kerry listen to these words? We do not know. But the clock id ticking. On Valentine’s Day, Kerry and Mark will wed. And, ever he originator, they will tie the knot at Gretna Green.
Whether this knot is tied in Kerry’s stockings remains to be seen and heard...
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