Chorizo-faced thespian Dean Gaffney didn't quite make it to Hollywood. Though he has got as far as Milton Keynes, where he's treading the boards in local theatre. (He's in 'The Unexpected Guest' - a prize to the first to shout, "Where's Wellard?" during his soliloquy.)
He recently lugged his unfortunate features into Lloyd's Bar in St Alban's and immediately set about charming the ladies, hoping that his past fame would blind the maidens to the fact that his skin has the texture of a table tennis bat. His mission was successful and he won the heart (and much more) of a rather well-padded goth lady (but black is so slimming!) who sported more jewellery in her face than the average branch of Beaverbrooks.
The beautiful couple soon departed for a local hotel, because the stunner was only 18 and realised that her parents would be less than thrilled with the pus-faced cock-master appearing at breakfast. Oh, and his place was out of the question.
That's where his wife and kids live, after all...
HolyMoly
