Kerry Katona’s Gone Round The Back Of Tesco’s
“OFF HER HEAD AND ON MY BED,” runs the News of the World’s headline.
The “HER” is Kerry Katona. The “BED” belongs to drugs dealer Leighton Ogden.
Says the NOTW: “Ogden's first sexual encounter with Kerry had happened four months earlier, shortly after her engagement to Croft—behind a Tesco in Warrington last Valentine's Day.”
What can we make of this? It’s career suicide for Kerry, known to millions of own-brand ketchup-eating mums as the face of Iceland supermarket.
News that she had coitus behind a rival’s store will not go down well. Although the clear and present dangers of exposing tender parts by a store specialising in frozen goods cannot be over-egged. “Mum’s gone to Iceland,” says Kerry as she offers us a “boozy brownie” - and she’s gone equipped with a thermal G-string and pre-warmed chest.
Says Ogden: "Kerry dragged me round the back of the supermarket. She was kissing me really passionately and ripping off my clothes. It was all a bit of a blur." (Every little helps.)
A few months later and Kerry is back at Ogden’s flat. Kerry was engaged and pregnant. Ogden confides in us: "It was the early stages of her pregnancy but I'm definitely not the father.
"Although Kerry used to come round all the time to take drugs we only had sex the once.”
No shock indeed that this revelation should come days after Kerry’s husband Mark Croft was accused of cheating on her with two other women.
Kerry is also fighting with former husband, Westlife singer emeritus Brian McPadding, over the custody of their two children.
Says Ogden: “She's a terrible mother and a terrible wife. Once Mark rang and had a go at me and said, ‘How do you think I feel having to tell the kids Kerry's working when really she's on a bender?'"
But things are on the up. As the paper says: “Astonishingly, the couple are said to be still pressing ahead with a glitzy renewal of their wedding vows in Marbella on Spain's Costa del Sol later this month—in return for a big-money payday from a glossy mag.”
We can’t wait. And will be covering the do and post-stage party from the rear of Benitez’s hipermercado…
amorak
