BIG TOP? MORE LIKE A BIG, FAT BOTTOM
I COULD hardly believe it as the world's worst host Ruby Wax brought down the curtain on the world's worst reality show with the dreaded words: "We'll be back for a new series of Cirque de Celebrite next autumn."
What on Earth for?
Sky One's big top "spectacular" was a disaster.
Who could give a damn whether or not a bunch of Z-listers fell off the low wire? Which every single one of them did.
No matter how hard the panel of nonentity judges tried to talk them up, all 12 contestants were breath-back takingly useless circus performers. It's not good TV watching incompetents do things badly.
"I just want to thank all my fans," said little-known Kenzie after coming third.
You haven't got any fans!
For what it's worth, the winner was Big Brother bitch Grace Adams-Short-of-Talent.
Explaining the voting system to the handful of viewers, rubbish ringmaster Ruby declared: "It's like the presidential election... except no one cheats."
She meant: "...except no-one cares."
Sundaymirror
