2007 REALITY TV DAIRY
Compiled By David Edwards
JANUARY
JUST THE TWO OF US (BBC1)
HOSTS: Tess Daly and hubby Vernon Kay. Ahh.
WHAT TO EXPECT: Celebrity songbirds - including ex-EastEnder Hannah Waterman and Wet Wet Wet's Marti Pellow - couple up and aim to warble their way to victor y in the return of this duets contest.
SOAPSTAR SUPERSTAR (ITV1)
HOST: Zoe Ball
WHAT TO EXPECT: Soap stars like Jane Danson (Corrie) and Elaine Lordan (ex-Enders) prove they can sing too in this talent show.
DANCING ON ICE (ITV1)
HOST: Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby
WHAT TO EXPECT: The likes of Lisa Scott- Lee, Duncan James and Ulrika Jonsson risk bruised bums as they attempt to glide gracefully to victor y in this skating competition.
FEBRUARY
THE APPRENTICE (BBC2)
HOST: Alan Sugar
WHAT TO EXPECT: The self-made millionaire gets more wannabe big wigs in his firing line as they compete to become his £100,000-a-year app rent ice. Nic e wage packet but what a humiliating way to get it!
CAN I GET ON IT? Too late. Applications are now closed.
MARCH
CASTAWAY 2007 (BBC1)
HOST: Danny Wallace
WHAT TO EXPECT: It's been a long time coming but finally here's a follow-up to the 2000 hit. And this time instead of chilly old Taransay, 36 British men, women and children will try to survive for three months on a remote South Pacific island. So even if it's all bickering and bust-ups at least it should be sunny.
CAN I GET ON IT? Not unless you own a canoe and get paddling.
BRAT CAMP (C4)
HOST: Unknown
WHAT TO EXPECT: Four mums and their tearaway teens get knocked into shape at an Arizona boot camp. Think Vicky Pollard on tour.
CAN I GET ON IT? No. Would you really want to rough it with a load of Asbo kids?
APRIL
BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT (IT V1)
HOSTS: Ant and Dec
WHAT TO EXPECT: Bringing a new spin to the talent show form at, this searches for amateurs with unusual skills - anything from fire-eating to snake charming. The latter should come in handy as the judge is Mr Nasty Simon Cowell, aided and abetted by ex-Bay watch hero David Hasselhoff.
CAN I GET ON IT? Yes, find out how at talent. itv.com
MAY
BIG BROTHER (C4)
HOST: Davina McCall
WHAT TO EXPECT: Further twists in the familiar formula will keep us hooked on what will be the eighth series of the original reality TV show. There was controversy over the selection of a Tourette's sufferer as a BB7 housemate - Pete Bennett, who went on to win. Now it's rumoured that producers are looking for a transgender stripper with a split personality. And OCD.
CAN I GET ON IT? Yes, auditions are in February for the show in summer.
JUNE
ANY DREAM WILL DO (BBC1)
HOST: Graham Norton
WHAT TO EXPECT: Hoping to repeat the success of How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? the Beeb searches for an undiscovered talent to star in a new stage version of Joseph And The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. The winner will follow in the mighty footsteps of Jason Donovan, Stephen Gately and Darren Day. Oh yes.
CAN I GET ON IT? Yes, auditions begin early in 2007.
GREASE (ITV1)
HOST: To be confirmed
WHAT TO EXPECT: Budding Olivia Newton Johns and John Travoltas try to convince Simon Cowell they're the ones that he wants - ooh-hoo-hoo - as he searches for a Sandy and Danny to star in this musical. CAN
I GET ON IT? Yes, the hunt begins in spring, so star t polishing your quiffs.
AUGUST
THE X FACTOR (ITV)
HOST: Kate Thornton
WHAT TO EXPECT: Will series three winner Leona already have faded into obscurity by the time Sharon, Louis and Simon return to unearth the latent talent bubbling in the next batch of mostly deluded pop wannabes? The fourth series should prove, once more, how some folk (Louis included) will do anything to get on the telly.
CAN I GET ON IT? Auditions star t in the summer.
OCTOBER
STRICTLY COME DANCING (BBC1)
HOSTS: Bruce Forsyth and Tess Daly
WHAT TO EXPECT: More stars of sports, soaps and screen try not to fumble their foxtrots in the fifth series of this hit show. Likely to prove a huge ratings success, despite Brucie's jokes.
NOVEMBER
I'M A CELEBRITY...
GET ME OUT OF HERE! (ITV1)
HOSTS: Ant and Dec
WHAT TO EXPECT: More celebrity has-beens try to remind us of their glory days by eating Witchetty grubs and kangaroo testicles while roughing it in the Outback. Compelling viewing for throwing up gems like David Gest and for contestants throwing wobblers (Jan Leeming).
CAN I GET ON IT? If you used to be famous and lack self-esteem, call ITV now!
Mirror
