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PostPosted: 11 Mar 07, 16:20 
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LOOK WHAT'S WASHED UP
11 March 2007

"IF I go into a room with 10 people in it," said loud-mouthed Jonathan Shearer, "then eight of them are going to dislike me within five minutes."

No, Jonathan. It's a racing cert that all 10 of them will despise you instantly.

I know I did the moment this ridiculous unemployed, homeless Scotsman washed up on the Beeb's new series of Castaway.

But then Young Conservative Clare Hilley arrived. And all of a sudden Jonathan seemed like a great guy.

Deep political thinker Clare's hero is Margaret Thatcher who, she explained, "said it how it was and she done it no matter what".

Yes, after an absence of a mere seven years, TV's original reality show is back by unpopular demand.



It's the BBC. So instead of classifying this braindead nonsense as the trash entertainment it actually is, they call it a social experiment.

The last time the state broadcaster played with people's lives they plonked a bunch of suckers on a vile Scottish island for a year.

And what did Castaway 2000 produce? Ben Fogle! Now 13 poor saps have been marooned on a desert island near New Zealand where we're all going to pretend that if they don't find food BBC1 bosses will let them die.

Come to think of it - that's not a bad idea.

As always, they've gathered together a gallery of grotesques - including a guy called Joe Chicken - specifically chosen so they can be irritating.

"I'm the most heterosexual man in Britain," boasted 19-year-old public schoolboy Alasdair Humberston who, you get the feeling, probably isn't.

Host Danny Wallace is on hand to wind everyone up and make sure they have explosive rows. "The contestants aren't doing this to get a front cover of a magazine or launch a pop career," he said.

I wouldn't be so sure of that, Danny boy. Sundaymirror


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PostPosted: 11 Mar 07, 16:35 
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Devil's Island

11/03/07


THE crew on TV’s Castaway are getting boozed up every night as contestants go hungry a few yards away.

The 90 cameramen and technicians have been raiding local off-licences for supplies of lager and wine, we can reveal.

And insiders reckon that, if the 13 desperate contestants find out about it, they could revolt and quit the island.

One show source said: “The crew obviously don’t have to live by the same rules – and it’s fair to say they’re enjoying themselves.

“But there is a fear that there could be uproar if the castaways discover what is going on.”

While it’s fun time in the crew’s camp, the castaways are struggling to live off the land and from the water.

The insider said: “They have only been on the island off New Zealand for a few days and already some are starving.

“The vegetables might provide them with food in the long term but, if they don’t catch more fish soon, they might start trying to take bites out of each other!”

Feisty Scot Jonathan Shearer already looks like leading a rebellion after
moaning about the “World War II-style” provisions.

And self-confessed “fat guy” Alister Cooling, 24, has revealed how he’s
prepared to take drastic action if he doesn’t get fed.

The source said: “Alister likes his food, as you can see, and he’s hurting! There’s a fear that he might try and walk out straight away.

“And remember they’ve got to survive for three months.”

The only lucky castaway so far has been Francie Smee, 56, who managed to land a fish. But that didn’t stretch too far around the 13 camp members.

Jonathan, 41, has tried setting eel traps. But the source said: “He hasn’t had any luck so far. Even if he does, I don’t think many of them will eat eel. It is going to be a tough and long trip, especially if the veg doesn’t harvest.”

Meanwhile, the crew of the BBC1 show, which pulled in 4.4 million viewers on Friday night, have been stocking up, on liquid refreshment at least.

Trudy Rainbird, who works at The Rocks Bottle Shop on the island, said they’d been paying regular visits to the store.

She added: “They’ve been drinking their way through hearty measures of Stella, Heineken and wine.”

And some believe this might have led to them throwing their weight about…

Another shopkeeper added: “It’s nice to see new faces on the island but they think they own the place. As far as I’m concerned they can get lost.”

Tonight, the contestants will get a small taste of hooch themselves.

They prepare a birthday dinner for Francie, complete with vodka shots.

But the harmony might not last long as show chiefs plan to stir things up with a few surprises.

They will give one fan the chance to join the islanders as a contestant.

Auditions will find 12 wannabes, then viewers will vote for the winner.

He or she will be flown to New Zealand midway through the series.

There will also be an interactive competition giving one viewer the chance to play “puppet master” on the show, deciding whether the castaways get tricks or treats.

TV chiefs also plan to stage random surprise evictions and they have at least seven new castaways on standby and in hiding.

These will go into the show at a later date if anyone walks out or falls ill.

* Castaway is on BBC1 at 9pm tonight. dailystar


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PostPosted: 11 Mar 07, 18:18 
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Jonathan reminds me of Shahbaz, but only slightly less camp.


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PostPosted: 11 Mar 07, 23:25 
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trolleydolley wrote:
Jonathan reminds me of Shahbaz, but only slightly less camp.
I just said the same thing to my other half.
He would do my head... :-(


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PostPosted: 12 Mar 07, 0:38 
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trolleydolley wrote:
Jonathan reminds me of Shahbaz, but only slightly less camp.


As he has now been BANISHED to another beach he can set up his own CAMP :eviltongue:


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PostPosted: 12 Mar 07, 12:19 
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It was Jason who got castaway,Jim, this is Jonathan Here



:oops: Sorry Madeline :oops: It is an easy mistake when I have only watched about five mins of it {@}


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PostPosted: 12 Mar 07, 15:24 
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Jonathan sounds just like BB7's Sam to me - his accent, especially when he said 'it's amazing' last night. Sam was always using that word.


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PostPosted: 12 Mar 07, 19:13 
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11 March 2007
DEATH CRASH SECRET OF TV CASTAWAY STAR

CASTAWAY star Erica Hurst survived an horrific coach crash that killed three of her friends.

The former lap dancer was on a Mercedes coach which plunged 60ft down a ravine in the French Alps.

SundayMirror


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PostPosted: 12 Mar 07, 22:01 
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Madeline wrote:
It was Jason who got castaway,Jim, this is Jonathan Here



:oops: Sorry Madeline :oops: It is an easy mistake when I have only watched about five mins of it {@}


()^ :D


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PostPosted: 12 Mar 07, 22:32 
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Viewers cast away Castaway

Castaway_1Viewing figures for BBC's latest series of Castaway plummeted by 25% between the debut show on Friday and last night's second instalment, leading to speculation that the run might be cut short. (See? They'd have been far better off bringing Fame Academy back!) Viewers were clearly not enamoured of the bunch of misfits that the Beeb have managed to assemble for this series, which comes seven years after Auntie's first foray into island life. The contestants this time round include a self-confessed couch potato (who also refers to himself as an unpublished author), a wannabe Tory MP who "sees herself as a natural leader," a reformed drug addict and a lap dancer. What are they doing on the Great Barrier Island? Sounds like a normal day in Westminster to me. tvscoop


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PostPosted: 12 Mar 07, 23:49 
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wasnt meaning to watch this, but made the mistake of channel hopping on friday night and getting hooked in by a lovely pair of boobs in a pink bikini :roll:

line up looks more like the sort of people you'd see on big brother


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PostPosted: 14 Mar 07, 22:08 
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A new Castaway joins the show

A NEW contestant is joining Castaway – and she’s sure to raise plenty of interest amongst the blokes.

Catherine Bell is a striking six foot blonde who is studying for a PhD. She speaks five languages, has worked as a lifeguard and says she has 36in legs.

And, believe it or not, she says she's 'very single'!

theSUN


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PostPosted: 16 Mar 07, 10:16 
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Castaway vs Big Brother - spot the difference blogs.guardian.co.uk


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PostPosted: 18 Mar 07, 12:52 
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DRAMA Down Under as TV's desperate Castaways find themselves running out of water.

The tank's leaking! Oh my God... what are they to do? Well, I guess they could always nip to the local Irish-themed pub for a couple of pints of Guinness.

And when food supplies dwindle what better place to stave off that desert-island hunger than the beachfront restaurant specialising in delicious Thai curries?

Yes, our heroic Robinson Crusoes are not quite as cut off from civilisation as the Beeb would have us believe.

New Zealand's "remote" Great Barrier Island has a population of 700, a thriving tourist industry and plenty of places to eat and drink.

They might as well stage Castaway 2007 on a roundabout in Basingstoke.

But it's more than just crass deception that's turning BBC1's expensive "social experiment" into a TV shipwreck. It's too simplistic. Merely shoving 14 losers together to see how they get on isn't going to thrill anyone these days.

The fact that bored host Danny Wallace looks like he'd rather be somewhere else doesn't help.

Lap dancer Erica swiftly realised the only stars of the show were the dolphins. "Don't film my arse," she pleaded before she stripped off and swam out to join Flipper and the gang.

They filmed her arse. Sundaymirror


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PostPosted: 18 Mar 07, 13:20 
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It seeems Jonathan's gob is getting him into trouble agian...who would have believed that would happen then? ;)
All the arguments start because of his stern attitude. His latest rant over his washing not done when he returned form a Lobster-pot dig.
He told the laundry team - Lucinda and Erica they were not allowed to eat the soup he had made for lunch, yelling:
"THIS IN NOT A HOLIDAY CAMP, IT IS OFFENSIVE TO FIND PEOPLE SUNBATHING."

In responce, ken almost came to blows with the Scot, jabbing angrily at his face with his finger, shouting: "GO AWAY AND GROW UP SON' AND CALLING HIM A S***-STIRRRING *******".

Hassan then put his two-penny- worth in telling him: "you've heard of a Class A drugs? Well you're a Class A p****, and Francis adding: "What right have you got? You're not camp leader."

Source: Mail On Sunday


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