BB FANS

They're top of the Premiership by a country mile, in the semi-finals of the FA Cup and are one game away from the last four of the Champions League.

It's true - it's hard to find anything to mock Arsenal for. Having said that...


"If you buy a man who is half-dead, everybody may be happy off the field, but on the field you'll have major problems."
Arsene Wenger realises his folly after one bargain buy too many.

“As long as no-one scored, it was always going to be close.”
Wenger redefines the art of profundities. Not content with that...

"Of the nine red cards this season we probably deserved half of them."
Wenger disregards the laws of maths.

"I am a Nigerian and I will remain a Nigerian until the day I die."
Nwanko Kanu stays loyal to his roots. He has no choice, mind.

"There's still 45 minutes to go - for both sides, I would guess."
Arsenal legend Brian Marwood ladels out football equality.

"I usually don't have sex. Not on the same day. I say no thanks. I guess that, mentally, I want to keep the feeling in my feet and that's why. I think the feeling sort of disappears out of your feet if you have sex before. I have tried before and my feet felt like concrete when you are supposed to kick the ball."
Freddie Ljungberg explains his pre-game abstinence. In detail.

"I like the comfort of jeans, and the elegance of a suit. But above all, I love the sensuality and sexuality that emanates from leather. It multiplies one's sensations tenfold."
Former Gunner Emmanuel Petit oozes fashion tips

"I wish people could live on the Moon so we could send all the crazy people there"
Our Manu puts forward the idea of purging the unhinged, before...

"I'd like to be a dog. Dogs are nice. They can sleep any time, they wag their tails and on top of that they can get stroked all the time."
Petit contemplates a career move after leaving Highbury.

And finally...

"You will laugh when I say this, but I did not see the incident."
Arsene delivers the classic Wengerism.