BB FANS

Youve probs seen them loads before, but they always make me LOL

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries,and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them . . . Oh my God, what have I just said?"

"We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalised."
(Ian McNail — Football)

"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite."
(Murray Walker — F1 Motor racing Commentator)

"Bill Frindal has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator."
(John Arlott — Cricket Commentator)

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
(Winston Bennett — Footballer)

"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical." (Murray Walker — F1 Motor racing Commentator)

"The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball."
(John Francombe — Jockey)

"We'll still be happy if we lose. It's on at the same time as the Beer Festival."
(Noel O'Mahoney, Cork City boss before the game in Munich)

"I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better."
(Ron Atkinson — Footballer)

" . . . and later we'll have action from the men's cockless pairs."
(Sue Barker — Commentating on Rowing)

"Well, either side could win, or it could be a draw."
(Ron Atkinson — Football Coach)

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
(David Acfield)

"There goes Juan Torera down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."
(David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics)

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel."
(Stuart Pearce)

"The Port Elizabeth ground is more of a circle than an oval. It's long and square."
(Trevor Bailey)

"I'll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right."
(Marion Starling)

"Fred Davis, the doyen of snooker, now 67 years of age and too old to get his leg over, prefers to use his left hand."
('Whispering' Ted Lowe)

"A brain scan revealed Andrew Caddick is not suffering from a stress fracture of the shin."
(Jo Sheldon)

"We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought."
(Bobby Robson, after playing Cameroon in the 1990 World Cup finals)

"I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad I won rather than lost."
(Frank Bruno)

Cannot have this thread without a classic Gordon Strachan quotes bit:

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?

Strachan: No! I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "no, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless!"


Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?

Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure.


Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?

Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?


Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?

Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.


Reporter: How do you feel about your player Delgado's comments in the Press this week

Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.


Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?

Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.


Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?

Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.


Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?

Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.


Reporter: where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?

Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.


Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?

Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.


Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beatie deserves to be in the england squad?

Strachan: I dont care, im Scottish!


Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"

Strachan: "Velocity" walks off....

Classic Murray Walker:"The car in front is totally unique,apart from the car behind it"

"When I first joined the club, I thought it was actually called Struggling Southampton" (Dave Jones)

Reporter to Shola Ameobi: "Have you got a nickname - what does Bobby Robson call you?"
Ameobi: "Carl Cort."

Saw this yesterday...

"It's an unusual Scottish side,seeing they've got some good players"

Javier Clemente,Spanish under-21 coach,1996