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| Hewitt to resign over Rooney injury http://www.bbfans.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=45&t=25694 |
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| Author: | JimD [ 02 May 06, 23:19 ] |
| Post subject: | Hewitt to resign over Rooney injury |
2 May 2006 by D Billingham DeadBrain has learnt that Labour's crisis is set to claim its first victim with Health Secretary Patricia Hewitt 'on the brink' after devastating allegations were released indicating that NHS cuts and incompetence have exasperated the foot injury suffered on Saturday to England's great hope for the forthcoming World Cup, Wayne Rooney. Mr Rooney was taken by private car to Hammersmith Hospital after suffering the blow during a tackle in a Premiership encounter between his side, Manchester United, and rivals Chelsea at their Stamford Bridge ground. Upon arrival the international striker, accompanied by his mother, was informed that there was a significant wait to see a receptionist as all reception staff had been dismissed in the previous week, and as a result the reception duties were being performed by a heart surgeon between operations. Some 45 minutes later the footballer was directed towards the hospital's Accident and Emergency section. It is believed that the striker's mother sought to find the way to the section herself during this wait, but all hospital signs had been used for firewood after heaters were removed from the hospital's staff room in March. Things did not improve for Rooney upon arrival in A&E. He was informed that the resident orthopaedic surgeon was unavailable as she was currently taking a vacation in her Monte Carlo holiday home. Three hours of clutching his damaged foot later, the England star was apparently attended to by a brain surgeon only to be told that the treatment which he and his mother were seeking was not currently being prescribed to those suffering routine sporting injuries on cost grounds. It is then believed that he was offered penicillin but declined and instead hired a taxi to a nearby private hospital where the desired treatment was administered. Leading sports physiotherapists were unanimous in confirming that if the footballer had received the treatment, the so-called 'Magic spray', sooner, then his chances of recovering in time for the long-awaited World Cup in June would have been vastly increased. As well as the government facing some wrath for Rooney's mistreatment, questions are being raised as to why neither Manchester United nor Chelsea's staff had a supply of the substance which is commonly administered to injuries in both professional and amateur sport, and indeed why his wealthy club were reliant upon the NHS. DeadBrain understands that a lack of 'magic spray' and private healthcare are results of cuts imposed by the club's new American owners, while Chelsea are said to have abandoned all physiotherapy on the grounds that it is easier to replace crocked stars with new £20 million signings. Deadbrain 2 May 2006 |
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