I picked this up in a book shop yesterday while queueing to pay for some other books. It was only £2.50 and had some great one liners in it. A tiny little book but certainly will make you laugh
avoid bickering and petty arguments by immediately punching anyone with whome you disagree.
if you can stay calm whilst all around you is in chaos you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.
Learn to love the personality flaws of others. For some its the only personality they have.
Be nice to the nerds and loners at school you'll be working for them in the future.
Eat positively, exercise daily, think positively, die anyway.
boycott shampoo! demand the REAL poo.
and my personal favourite
You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they will panic and give in.
thats a lot of money in my world 
