Fri, Mar 3, 2006
Megastar
Daisy Kay
Incoming!
MegaStar says: ‘Just think of the all the good they’re doing to the garden!’
According to the Sun, “half a million starlings” are dumping their poo on a small town in Somerset.
Experts aren’t sure why the birds have chosen Chard, in Somerset, as their favourite toilet, but residents aren’t happy about it.
The migrating flock is said to be 100 times larger than normal, and the fear is that their waste could spread disease, not to mention the amount of money it costs to clean the muck up!
“Residents are using hats, coats and umbrellas to avoid the ‘snow-storm’ of muck as each bird poops up to 50 times a day,” the paper informs us.
Some gun-ho folk have taken matters into their own hands, such as ex-gamekeeper Ken Brown who’s taken to firing blank shots at the pesky flying flock, while Stephen Fuller described them as a “storm of locusts”.
But we reckon he’s just peeved because he’s got to clean his three Jaguar cars a “few times a day”.
The Sun kindly tells us that if the birds do ‘release’ droppings 50 times a day; that would mean 14 tons of crap is landing on their doorsteps.
Get a cat.
