BB FANS

Following intelligence reports which suggest that deposed dictator Saddam Hussein had, in fact, concealed Iraq in an East-London residential area, US Marines have taken up positions for what will be known as "Operation Iraqi Location".

George Galloway, leader of the Bethnal Green Ba'ath party, revealed the whereabouts of the concealed cache of around 26 million Iraqis and 500,000 square kilometres of land following his shock victory in the general election overnight, declaring: "Mr Blair, this is for Iraq".

Following a brutal election campaign, marked by street-fighting and attacks on vehicles, Mr Galloway defeated Labour candidate Oona King in an election which is already being questioned by external observers following allegations of voter fraud, intimidation and deception.

Gen. John Abizaid, commander of US forces in the region, feels his troops are ready for the task ahead. "We're committed to liberating the Iraqi people from Galloway, who has cynically used the people of Iraq for some years now to further his own aims, and to live a life of luxury at their expense," he said.

President Bush is now being briefed on the geographical location of London, and is expected to give the go-ahead for the troops to launch their attack as soon as he has coloured in his map.

Prime Minister Tony Blair has denied all involvement in British politics.

Deadbrain

Dubya's Letters:

7 May 2005 by Malcolm Drury
Terry Blair
Prime Minister
U of K

May 6, 2005

Dear Terry

Just a quick note to say congradulations on winning the election, hope the tips on postal voting helped.

It was grate to see you again for the pope's fewnral, here's the twenny bucks I borrowed from you, thanks again, sorry it's been so long. Somebody shoulda told me you gotta pay to park in Vaticania, sheesh, youda thunk theyda made it free at least for all us PIVs. Funny, though, that guy who said he was cardinal in charge of collecting for parking wasn't dressed like all the other cardinals, like for instance he didn't have one of them wierd hats they wear, and he looked like he hadn't shaved for a week. Maybe he was just reel distrort about the pope snuffing it. I didn't see him at the serammony, I was gonna ask him for a reseet for tax purposes. The parking guy I mean, not the dead pope.

I gotta say I was reel mad, though, I got talking to the Prince of Charles there and I dropped plenty of hints but he still didn't say anything about my invite to his wedding and he never did give me one, I had to watch it on the TV. He just kept going on and on about how awful peeple are, especially some guy at the BB of C. Anyway when we got back here I said to Laura I was gonna keep that barbykew we was gonna give him and Gorilla for a wedding present. The Prince of Charles I mean, not the guy at the BB of C.

As a matter of fact I got her fired up yesterday, the barbeykew, I mean, not Laura, it's reel hard to get her fired up if you take my meaning, and cooked up a few stakes and hot dogs, boy that's what I call living.

Speaking of Laura, did ya see her on TV making jokes about me, sheesh, I had to pretend to laff but I was reel mad. I was gonna tell some jokes about her but I figgered I 'd better not, it would be headaches for a month at least and besides I couldn't ackcherly think of any.

Anyway I gotta close and go pack, I'm going to Yoorup again, some place I've never heard of, Latavia or something, then to Neverland to sellabrate its libberation, and then to see Pootin in Rusher. I thought Neverland was in the US of A, I don't know if Michael Jackson will be there, and I thought it was Iraq we libberated anyway.

I hope you and Sherry can get over to see us reel soon, if your too busy maybe Sherry could come on her own.

Your frend
George (Bush) (President) (US of A)

P.S. If you need any help dealing with that Galloway guy you only have to ask, I checked and there's still space at Gwamatmano Bay.

P.S.S. Don't bother to send a reseet for the twenny bucks, I took it from Laura's purse, just don't tell her.

DeadBrain