14 November 2005
Mirror
By Polly Hudson
1 SHAYNE
Regular readers will know I love him so much he's likely to be considering a restraining order (and if he isn't, he should be). But it's probably best not try and dance like Justin Timberlake unless you are Justin Timberlake.
2 BRENDA
I just decided she's the dark horse of the competition...she delivers polished, note-perfect, confident performances week after week without fail but I still can't see her on Top of the Pops...
3 ANDY
This old man's a dustman/he thinks it's in his past/but he should remember/that nice guys finish last.
Is he singing the same song every week - or is it just me?
4 NICHOLAS
Maybe it's the fact all Louis can think to say about him every single time he introduces him is he's "cool". Maybe it's because he was in the bottom two last week but his spirit is broken - and it shows.
5 JOURNEY SOUTH
Simon Cowell said they're a group "you can just push, push, push". Boys, meet me at the top of a cliff. Actually, saying that, I think I fancy the one who doesn't look like a pre-Posh Beckham, so he can stay at home.
6 THE CONWAY SISTERS
I know we're not meant to blame them for Louis making the wrong decision and sending the uber-talented Maria home, but it's hard. Yes, they held on for one more day - but surely that can't for another week?
7 CHICO
Oh. My. God. Well, at least he didn't do the splits - plus bonus points for refusing to be put off by the fact that someone was boiling at least 70 kettles directly beneath him for tea during the ad breaks.
