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| Cowell's Funniest Put-Downs! http://www.bbfans.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=53&t=35675 |
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| Author: | JimD [ 13 Dec 08, 1:15 ] |
| Post subject: | Cowell's Funniest Put-Downs! |
With the final of X Factor this Saturday it's only fair to look at Simon's brutally honest assessments of those who didn't quite make the grade. ZOO gives you a look at some of the best. "Your mouth is far, far too big when you sing. It was like looking into a cave. I've never seen anything so huge in my life" "It was dreadful. Really dreadful. And I'm saying that to be kind because you will never, ever have a career in singing. Remember these words: you are not a singer" "There are only so many words I can drag out of my vocabulary to say how awful that was" "You actually sing like a train going off the rails - starts in tune and then goes completely off very, very fast" "Are you having singing lessons? Get a lawyer and sue your teacher" "It was nice enough, but bland. Like eating water" "A little bit like a drunk dad at a wedding" "The song was atrocious, everything was. Even the hair" "There is as much chance of you being a popstar as me flying to the Moon tomorrow for breakfast!" "I'd actually like to throw myself in the coffin after that, girls. The wigs, the white faces, the gloomy song... You're like a couple of corpses" "You sang out of tune and a bit like a baby" "This isn't Magician Idol. Although I would like you to disappear" "You sounded like Dolly Parton on helium. It was a bit like ordering a hamburger and only getting the bun" "It was rather like a chihuahua trying to be a tiger" "That sounded like Stevie Wonder with a really bad cold" "Ant and Seb? It was more like Ant and Deaf! Where do I start? It was just crazy bad" PUB FACT: It is thought that this year alone, Simon Cowell has trousered around £34m in earnings. ZooToday |
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