INTERROGATION: CRAIG REVEL HORWOD
Strictly Come Dancing judge Craig Revel Horwood, 42, on the new show, dressing in drag, and why, under that sharp-tongued, orange-faced exterior, he’s really a sweetie...
So Strictly Come Dancing has just started again. Are you as giddy about it as we are?
Craig Revel Horwood: I’m excited about Gethin Jones because he’s a stunner isn’t he? Absolutely gorgeous, the sexiest-ever contestant. I love that we’ve got a couple, too, although I reckon Gabby and Kenny Logan are doing it to cheat – they can go home and practise together. I always love a soap star like Letitia Dean, too – it’s funny when you see people looking rough as guts on EastEnders and then they get these amazing outfits and the hair goes up, the glitter is on, and it’s showbiz.
Who is going to win?
CRH: Kelly Brook. She’s probably had dance training and she looks stunning. Or Alesha Dixon – I think she’ll be hot and sexy at the rhumba.
Are you going to be as evil as ever through this series, or are you mellowing in your old age?
CRH: I’m going to be my normal, honest, to-the-point self. It’s ludicrous not to tell the truth. I’d never be Paula Abdul and get all love-fest-ish about it. That’s more cruel. If it hurts people’s feelings, well, I don’t care.
Have you felt bad about anything you’ve said?
CRH: I called Patsy Palmer a two-bit actress in a two-bit soap in a puffa jacket who cries all the time. She didn’t take that very well. It wasn’t about her dancing which was very naughty of me, so I do regret that.
What comment are you most proud of?
CRH: My first one – the first three words that came out of my mouth on the show – ‘Dull dull dull’ to Natasha Kaplinsky. That’s all I got out before the booing started.
And who has been the most upset by your comments?
CRH: Julian Clary, but he got me back by saying I was an old Queen who wore too much foundation. That wasn’t nice because the BBC supplied it and put it on me and I happen to like it. I can’t not be brown, can I? That would be ridiculous.
What about the Jan Ravens incident?
CRH: I got beaten up by her husband in the BBC bar. I went up to commiserate and he told me to eff off and pushed me three times. And he’s half my size, he’s like 5ft 3in. I was in a state of shock. I was actually physically attacked.
Do you and the other judges hang out together in your spare time?
CRH: Bruno Tonioli and I go partying, Arlene Phillips and I do red carpets together, and Len Goodman and I do lunches. All four of us have gone out a couple of times, and people can’t quite believe it when they see us, especially if we’re all sat in the same order. They’re not my only friends, though, I’d like to stress.
Who has the biggest ego?
CRH: Bruno, definitely. People think he looks great for his age – it’s amazing what plastic surgery can do. He’s had his eyes done. I think everyone on that panel has had something done. Even Len. I like the idea of Len having a hair transplant, being able to see the plugs and everything, that’d be amazing.
So what surgery have you had then?
CRH: I’ve had my nose done. It’s the best thing about my appearance. It’s still a bit rough but it was a hook job before and they switched it for a little one. The thing I’d most like to change about myself is my belly. I’m constantly sucking it in and wearing clever costuming. I told everyone I was going to lose a stone before the new series started. Thank God I’m only seen from the waist up.
You grew up in small-town Australia – is that where your showbiz career began?
CRH: I’m from a gold mining town called Ballarat. But the gold ran out and everyone left, so it’s like a ghost town now, but it’s a sweet place. I was in the Am-Dram society and I did ballet, jazz, tap, acting and singing lessons. I didn’t start until I was 14 and my dad was in the navy and not really used to his son putting on a pair of tights and going off to dance school. It didn’t go down well with me, either – I wanted to do it in football shorts. And when I first saw a dance support belt – my God, they’re scary, they look surgical, but they do keep your packet nicely placed. I got over it, though and took it seriously. I was a natural.
Are you famous in Australia?
CRH: No, but they do ‘Ballarat boy’s done good’ stories a lot in the local paper. I’m more known in New Zealand because I do their version of Dancing With The Stars. They only have eight celebrities because there aren’t enough to choose from, and Brendan Cole judges it with me. He was the Mr Nasty character for the first two series, until I arrived and started telling the world he didn’t know what he was talking about.
What would you do if you weren’t a choreographer/dancing judge?
CRH: I’d run a restaurant. I got to the final of Celebrity Masterchef, but Nadia Sawalha beat me and I was better than her. All her stuff caught on fire. I don’t think I could cope with working in the kitchen, though – I had sweat dripping into my whipped cream, it was disgusting. I need to be front of house, meeting, greeting, air kissing, and ordering champagne.
If we were coming round for dinner what would you cook?
CRH: I’d cook an amazing seafood lasagne, using lobster and shellfish. It’s really fattening. I put on 2 stone over the summer. Since I did Masterchef I haven’t stopped cooking using butter and oil and cream.
Don’t you dance it all off though?
CRH: I said I’d never dance again after 30. I dance to demonstrate when I’m choreographing a show, so, for the first three weeks, I’ll lose a stone and a half and then, the rest of the time, I’ll sit on my fat arse telling people off.
Who was your first crush on?
CRH: Agnetha from ABBA when I was eight. My persuasions changed to men after that, although I did have a couple of girlfriends in Australia. My first man-crush was on Tom Sullivan from [Aussie soap] The Sullivans. Then, my dream came true one night...
Are you single?
CRH: I am. I like it, I’m ecstatic, I have the house to myself. I was with a guy for 15 years and we broke up two years ago. I’m hoping to find someone to fall in love with eventually though, to spend my zimmer frame days with. That’s if I get that far, darling.
What are your best and worst personality traits?
CRH: The worst is my excessive nature. I just spend and spend until the credit cards are maxed out, then I’ll go through a stage where I won’t spend anything. I won’t stop at one glass of wine, I have the bottle. The best is that, actually I’m a very nice person, underneath all that honesty.
What’s the worst job you’ve ever done?
CRH: I once did a musical and I was a tap-dancing puff in a pink toga and tap sandals. It was tragic. I knew it was doomed when the roof caved in on tranny night. I was warming up behind the curtain and I just heard screaming as a load of water came and soaked all these drag queens in their seats. It closed in a week.
If you were invisible for the say what would you do?
CRH: I’d go to a filth-ridden dirty sauna to see what goes on.
If your house was on fire what one item would you save?
CRH: My laptop. I’m not sentimental, I’m practical. I don’t keep things. If it’s not useful, I don’t want it. If I was still in love with Lloyd, my ex, I might take something to do with him, but I don’t want stuff from him, all of that’s gone. Not that I’m bitter.
Whose is the most famous number in your mobile phone?
CRH: Danny La Rue. Not many people have got his number have they? Not that I’m proud of it.
Who would play you in the movie of your life?
CRH: Rupert Everett. He has to. He’s my height and he’s got my character. I would cast him, definitely. They can get a body double for the dance scenes – Brendan can come in and do a spot of dancing for me. I can’t wait to see it.
Craig's reality check
When was the last time you used public transport?
The tube last Thursday and I don’t like it. Once you start getting recognised, it’s hideous and you’re trapped. I get recognised everywhere. It shows how famous I am? I’m getting past Z now, darling, moving up the scale...
Have you ever worn sunglasses indoors?
Yes. Anastacia-type ones that you can see through – as a glamorous accessory.
Ever worn a disguise?
I’ve worn drag. My outfit is a green Dynasty frock with shoulder pads, a cinched-in waist and red hair.
What was the last domesticated thing you did?
I’m good at DIY, I can drill and change a plug, and a fuse. I’m very handy round the house.
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