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JUST FIRE THE LOT OF THEM

I DON'T know if you're not just a nutter," snarled terrifying tycoon Sir Alan Sugar as he contemptuously sized up crazy curly-haired contestant Jo Cameron.

I do. She's a complete and utter nutter. Add fruit and this A-grade loony would qualify as a Cadbury's chocolate bar.

Round three of The Apprentice - BBC2's riveting reality show - was reaching its hilarious conclusion. And sour Sugar was taking no prisoners.

But while he suspects jabbering Jo - a kind of real-life less talented female version of The Office's useless David Brent - may be bonkers, straight-talking multi-millionaire Sir Alan can't help liking her. I can.

"She's stark raving bloody mad," Sugar snapped after wannabe high-flyer Cameron crash-landed and left the room, "But then again so am I!"

And so Jo was spared. She was lucky - she made an appalling hash of this week's absurdly simple challenge. The 35-year-old's airhead tactics instantly plunged the girls' team headlong into the jaws of defeat. The mission for the assembled losers was to purchase 10 items and see how much change they could get from £1,000. Chief male irritant, self-obsessed big head and boys' project leader Syed Ahmed strutted onto the streets of London banging on about "closing deals", "achieving goals and objectives" and "winning some serious business".



What they were actually doing was going shopping. Not that this lot didn't come up with some fiendishly clever solutions. How would they find the stores that sold the goods they were after? Syed cut to the chase. "Let's look in the Yellow Pages," declared this world class idiot.

Wow! Now that's blue sky thinking. Later as his hapless squad of overblown junior clerks wandered aimlessly around an East End market place, Syed barked at a bemused stallholder: "Is there anywhere around here we can buy fresh lobsters?" "Er, try the fishmongers," came the perfectly reasonable reply. But it was shut.

It was only because - under crummy Cameron's dire direction - the girls fared worse that the boys were saved from the disaster they deserved.

Both terrible teams had all day to comb Europe's largest city for such diverse items as a man's dinner jacket, quality cigars, a length of silk and a car tyre. Most people would have had the task done and dusted within a couple of hours.

But with minutes to go before the 6pm deadline, Jo's desperate women were running around like headless chickens failing to find a tyre shop. Hardly surprising.

Before they even set out on the road to ruin Jo had insisted on a stupefying three hours' strategy negotiations. Strategy? To go shopping? At the start of this slick series I felt sorry for the poor sod who will eventually win a six-figure salary job slogging his or her guts out for Sir Alan's £800million empire.

Now it's Sugar I feel sorry for. He's committed to having to employ one of 'em. For at least £100,000 a year! They're not worth £100,000 a decade. I wouldn't let a single one stack a supermarket shelf.

But their breathtaking lack of ability highlighted in the ruthlessly harsh glare of Sugar's exacting standards undoubtedly delivers quality television. As Jo pleaded for survival for the second week running she was given the benefit of the doubt - as was weakling Alexa. "Do I need another corporate lawyer?" Sir Alan bellowed at Karen, "No I bloody don't. I You're fired!" Harsh treatment. A spoonful of this brand of Sugar definitely won't help the medicine go down! Sundaymirror

12 March 2006
SundayMail


THE last Scot on hit TV show The Apprentice yesterday revealed she was at breaking point with a team-mate.

Sharon McAllister, from Stirling, launched a scathing attack on scatty rival Jo Cameron.

Sharon, 30, said that she and the other contestants were struggling to cope with Jo, 35, from Leamington Spa, Warwickshire.

She went on: "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever have imagined just how much of a nightmare she could be.

"She got everyone's back up by having a go at each member of the team and being extremely confrontational, which was not a good start, and she did not command respect."

Sharon added that there were not enough headache pills to put up with Jo in the North London house the contestants share.

They are competing for a £100,000-a-year job with tycoon Sir Alan Sugar and get whittled down week by week.

Sharon said Sugar should have fired Jo instead of fellow Scot Karen Bremner last week.

She said: "Jo lived to see another day but I am not sure why.

"I really was curious to find out why Sir Alan chose to save her!"

Furious Karen lambasted Sugar in the Sunday Mail last week branding the millionaire businessman sexist and unfair.

Lawyer Karen, 34, from Newbigging, Angus, called him an old-fashioned sexist for criticising the girls' methods.

She said: "Jo lived to see another day but I am not sure why.

"I really was curious to find out why Sir Alan chose to save her!"

Sharon is in deep **** if she has not worked out by now as to why the reality tv nut-job is still in the house with her

Yes, I still don't get it - Sir Alan said this wasn't a gameshow, it's a "12-week job interview" yet he's turned it into one. He's kept her in purely for entertainment value. Also, how Sir Alan is still making money I have no idea - Amstrad/Viglen products aren't the most reliable in the world...

As for Nargis, I thought insurance companies automatically renewed policies - I know mine did coz they whacked it up by a massive 40% which I didn't realise (I've since been quoted extremely happy by another provider).

Does anyone know what the winner from 2005 is doing - is he still employed by Sir Alan?

As far as I know he is. If you read THIS thread halfway down - JimD's post called 'Tim: Don't smarm Sugar!', it says Tim is 'Now earning a six-figure salary running a health offshoot of Sir Alan's multi-million pound Amstrad firm,' and Tim said “This last year of my life has been amazing and I have learnt so much from Sir Alan who has been my manager as well as my mentor.

“I owe him a lot but have given him a lot with the effort I have put into my company."

oh, thanks Christine. That'll teach me for not bothering to read the 'cut 'n' paste' posts from other websites

The Apprentice 9:00 pm - 10:00 pm


Sir Alan Sugar sends his 11 remaining candidates to get a roasting in the catering business. The teams have two days to source, buy and prepare meals to sell in marquees to half a million people at the Thames Festival. They must also theme and decorate their marquees to promote the food on offer. It's not helped when Sir Alan reshuffles the teams, putting a woman in charge of the boys and a man running the girls.

As the teams battle to reach their targets long hours in hot kitchens frazzle tempers. And with costs high and prices low flogging food turns out to be a tough game. But Sir Alan wants profits and when one team reports a loss a boardroom grilling serves up someone to get fired. Strong language.
BBC2

Alexa had to go - she was a bit of a ditherer, had little control, and failed to stamp her authority once a plan (was there a plan?) had been established. Mind you, I was amazed by Syed's approach to ordering - some total basic errors - not checking quantities, sizes, or even prices for that matter. I mean, everyone knows that even when you do your normal day-to-day shopping!

Not sure about the actual task itself. I thought Sir Alan was employing somebody for their business skills, not cooking ability. Surely in the real world the task would have been to find a catering company, an events company, and a marketing agency, utilising their skills, equipment and economies of scale. It shouldn't fall down to the folks with the money to do the actual work itself! That's why contractors exist! The apprenticees should have been left to working out what needed to be done, organising contractors, sourcing the suppliers and negotiating the price. Totally absurd, imho.

They are all clots.

How old is Alexa? She looked so young....
And what exactly does a 'management consultant' do anyway?

I would have loved it if she had suddenly taken on project manager and become this gutsy leader who bossed everyone about. But....she didn't really do anything, not even when everyone was kicking off in the kitchen.

She had to go...but Syed was pushing it.

I thought all 3 of them should have gone but that would not have been in the rules I suppose.

I expect there will be 2 teams of 3 men and 2 ladies each. I would love to see Jo, Sayed, Dom, Sharon and Samuel in one as they would strangle each other.

Didnt see last nights but thought they were all idiots!Might be fun to watch them all take each other out though!

THE APPRENTICE: NOT SO SMART ALEX..
EXCLUSIVE: Sir Alan Sugar

SHE pleaded with me to give her another chance, and I did. But last night, Alexa definitely had to go.

When I had to make my final decision last week, it was a toss-up between Alexa and Karen. They both thought Jo was nuts and should have gone, as do some viewers.

But I like Jo's spirit, and that's what's important. And, to be fair, she did call things right in the first two weeks, it's just that she has a funny way of putting her point across.

Alexa put herself forward as team leader for the boys. If she hadn't volunteered, I would have made her do it. But it was an absolute disaster. Alexa's a graduate with an honours degree in something or other, but that didn't help her.

It was clear her team were going to lose before they even started cooking. They overspent on the ingredients and underestimated the manufacturing process. They were dead in the water.

The frustration was that this so-called graduate hadn't worked out that you don't need to buy 100 chickens to make 100 pizzas.

I would have respected them more if they had gone back to the house and braced themselves for a bollocking. But in the film Alexa stupidly still believed she could trade out of it.

I was very annoyed with her and the other two catering "experts". Syed is supposed to know how to run a. restaurant and Tuan has worked in his family's restaurant.

I would have sacked all three of them, but the rules don't allow for that. A lightweight graduate, Alexa seems unable to even count. She had to go.

Mani was team leader for the girls, and they did quite well. I don't want to take anything away from them, but they didn't have to be brilliant business people to win that day.

They put on a nice display, the theme was good and people enjoyed the food.

But there was a bit of indecision early on as Mani waffled on about crepes. In the end they went for noodles.

The girls seemed happy enough with Mani running their team, but I wonder what they would have thought of him if they had lost?

Next week is a very exciting project and one of my favourite tasks. The teams are given a special item to advertise, something to do with aeroplanes.

Both teams produce campaigns, but it looks to me like one lost the plot and advertised the wrong thing. There's lots of tension and the teams are in for a big surprise when it comes to the judging.

You don't need 100 chickens to make 100 pizzas

MOVERS & SHAKERS RUTH

Good overall but said the girls were "professional" after one had just stormed out in a huff. Hmmm...

MICHELLE

Very quiet - is it a game plan? Sweetly supportive of Sharon though. Must come out of her shell.

PAUL

Thought it was "hilarious" they had toppings for 500 pizzas for 90 bases. Me too, but I'm not on the team. Boo.

SAMUEL

Completely lost his temper in the kitchen for no reason. Plus he's got shifty eyes. Needs to up his game.

SHARON

Was good confronting the utterly crap Mani - until she walked out. Needs to be calmer.

MANI

Rubbish project manager who wouldn't get his hands dirty. There's no I in team, Mani, but there's one in idiot.

ANSELL

My fave moment so far was Sir Alan asking him to appraise Alexa: "Ansell, tell me about Gretel."

JO

The image of her waving a dead chicken in the air, dancing to Mary J Blige, will haunt me until I die.

TUAN

Hung on by the skin of his teeth. Funny when he screamed: "There's too many chickens!" though.

SYED

Must work on his food ordering skills - will soon need them, in a "want fries with that?" way.

ALEXA : SACKED

How the heck did she make the final 14? It's a wonder she even manages to get dressed in the morning. Mirror

After a week of high flying and card tricks, yet another candidate must bite the dust...

Mani entered The Apprentice a confident man on a mission to prove he was the best. While he claimed to be a "complete expert" and a "world class presenter", Sir Alan was not impressed by Mani's self-indugent candour, informing him he had gone from "anchor to w***er".

Was Mani's brilliance just a façade? In the calendar task he failed to impress with his "world class" presentation skills, and in the takeaway task we see that despite being a team player, he avoided getting his hands dirty, and was quick to hide behind buzzwords like "divergence" and "convergence" than approach the conflict with Sharon head on.

But at the end of the day, it may not have been his love of business jargon that led to his downfall - Sir Alan just seemed to tire of Mani's megalomania and patronising attitude. We see this in the boardroom when the management consultant left Ruth fuming, telling her to go and look up the word autocratic in the dictionary when she asked what he meant by describing her as such.

Mani's outburst in the firing line, coupled with his behaviour over the last few weeks conflicted with the smooth, slick front he presents to the world, and illustrated that no-one can pull the wool over Sir Alan's eyes, especially a sheep in wolf's clothing. BB2

Saira Says


Crashed and burned
Advertising is certainly not one of my strongest subjects but one thing I did learn last year was that Sir Alan likes to see his product at the centre of the campaign, with a clear and direct message. In other words, he's not looking for an "arty farty" campaign.

Although Ruth's team lost, I thought she was a good leader - organised and good at getting the job done. Her mistake was to delegate the most important exercise in this task to Mani and Ansell. She should have taken the responsibility to meet the client. As a saleswoman, Ruth would have been in a better position to interpret the key benefits and features of the Amsair card and then apply them to the advertising campaign.

Mani's lack of common sense and self-awareness grated on me and his fellow apprentices. He is a great example of someone who uses business jargon for the sake of it and where it is totally inappropriate. Last week we heard him talk about "divergent" and "convergent" brainstorming techniques and this week he was convinced the concierge service was the critical USP (unique selling point) to be emphasised in the advertising campaign.

I think the problem with Mani is his behaviour, actions and language implies that he is too sure of himself and he knows better. This is where self-belief can turn into arrogance. Having worked for Sir Alan in the last series, I know he values, more than anything, honesty in people and I don't think Mani was being very honest in the boardroom when he denied coming up with the plan of focussing on the concierge service.

Mani was the right person to get fired this week. I could never really see him working for Sir Alan as he didn't have the right "street attitude" to work within the Amstrad culture. bbc