APPRENTICE TELLY-SALES DISASTER
THE APPRENTICE EXCLUSIVE
By Sir Alan Sugar
WHAT a shambles! Last night was the first week that I'd actually watched the Apprentices in action and it was a bit of an eye-opener. A bad week all round.
I knew they would be nervous selling on TV. Especially as I had cranked up the fear by telling them there was no room for mistakes - it was live so millions of people would be watching. No pressure, then.
The art of selling is to observe the customer's reaction when you are going through your patter.
You can't do that when you're talking to a camera. In this situation, whoever was directing should have been feeding the presenter with updates on how sales were going. This would have been the sign that a product was selling or not.
We've all stood around a stall in a market and watched a person pitching. Once one punter buys it encourages others to follow. The trick with TV selling is to constantly tell viewers that products are going like hot cakes and they need to buy now.
Neither of the teams got this. If they had they would have known which product was selling and pushed it even more.
Simon's team chose badly especially Tre and Naomi. Mind you, I felt that Tre left it mostly to Naomi and didn't have much input. The brief was to pick products priced at the right level and with some novelty about them - ie, not easily available in local shops.
This was not the case for their products. That's why, for example, the trampoline did not sell.
Kristina's chocolate fountain was a perfect example of quirky with a wow factor. But how many times did she say "OK"? I was about to smash the telly if she had said it once more.
The floor cleaner had potential too but she killed it with her terrible demonstration. I'm still waiting to donate the services of the three customers who bought one to medical research for brain examination. What were they thinking?
I did feel sorry for Lohit. Working with Katie - who presented very well by the way - he had to help flog a footbath and women's girdle panties.
Poor fellow. But that's been Lohit throughout this contest. He's never really done anything and has always been used. He's been nice and, frankly, very lucky to be either on winning teams or so much liked that he's hardly been brought back into the boardroom.
Did you, like me, feel like smacking Katie in the mush?
How condescending was she to refer to the target viewer, and indeed valued customer, as Mavis, the busty frump, sad loser, sitting at home with nothing else to do but watch telly?
To be honest, both teams were rubbish last night. But the rules are that the team that takes the most money wins. Despite winning, Kristina's team took a pathetic tenth of what the channel would normally take in this prime TV slot.
Tre was exposed again as being out of his depth.
He was pathetic as a presenter and kept making mistakes. I don't know how much longer I can keep letting him stay in for his past performances.
Simon at least got on doing his best to present - made a bit of a fool of himself along the way but managed to entertain everyone again. You have to admire his scatty ways. I'm sure he is cleverer than he makes out. Maybe he just plays the fool but has a sting in his tail?
I found it tough to choose who to fire last night.
However, Naomi never really did shine through. She was another of the lucky ones - either on winning teams or not the worst on the day when her team lost.
But at this stage I have to decide who could have a position in my organisation. After observing her for 10 weeks she simply didn't fit in.
She just didn't seem to have the same fire and spirit that the remaining bunch have.
Next week the last five face some of my associates in a series of tough interviews.
There's a massive twist that you won't believe. Trust me, it's gripping stuff.
If she'd said 'OK' again I was about to smash the TV
Find news, video interviews, teasers and highlights at
http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice
THE KNOWLEDGE
SIR Alan's Tip Of The Week: The art of selling is to observe the customer's reaction when you are going through your patter. But you need to know how to adapt to suit each selling scenario.
SHELLEY-OMETER
Lohit
IN a week of surprises and turnarounds, it was the Quiet Man who emerged with most credit. Easygoing, laid-back attitude works well in sales - even selling ladies' panty girdles which, as Sir Alan pointed out, you could hardly expect to be his forte.
Tre
GOT such a rollicking was an inch away from the sack, surviving purely thanks to Sir Alan's favouritism. His product choice of mini-trampoline could have been fine if Naomi and her lovely hair had been demonstrating it. Urgently needs to cut down on the arrogance and back-chat.
Katie
DISAPPOINTINGLY OK week for this nauseating snob and Miss Piggy lookalike. Her ridiculous imaginary customer was Mavis - "someone who's got a massive bust and knits a lot". Quite why she insists on dressing like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, Lord only knows.
Kristina
STARTED pretty well with her choice of the chocolate fountain (£24.99) but died on her arse with the steam broom, crying "Come on, Kristina, Jesus Christ!" and then having the audacity to claim "I was told I handled it very well." Mind you, she still sold three of them.
Simon
SURVIVED - amazingly - thanks to the sale of two wheelchairs. But the Brent like sight of him doing disturbing things with the phallic trampoline legs was classic television. All together now: "If you're a young child, you can do this. If you're an adult you can have fun!" Fact!
FIRED
Naomi
SACKED because Simon failed to realise her lovely hair bouncing up and down on the trampoline would have made thousands. Undone by settling into the wheelchair as if it was a luxury deckchair. And the purpose of her decoupage pads remains a mystery.
Mirror
