BB FANS

Harry's chum in Big Bruv

Sun

Bigging It Up

YET again Anorak has scooped its downmarket rivals with another stunning exclusive - Theo Walcott will NOT be appearing in this year’s Big Brother.

The 17-year-old wunderkind was sensationally ruled out of the show yesterday when he was named in England’s 23-man squad for the World Cup.

And although the show starts on May 18th – a full three weeks before the footballing extravaganza - Sven Goran Eriksson is understood to banned the teenager from entering the house.

So who will Big Brother producers select in his place?

The Sun reckons one of the inmates is an old school chum of Prince Harry – “a student toff who is related to the Queen Mother and likes fox-hunting and shooting”.

“He’s as posh as they come,” a pal says. “He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and gets all his money from Daddy.

“He’ll drive housemates mad. He’s always going on about his Royal connections. It will be hilarious to see him mixing with commoners, as he calls them.”

Who could it be? Who could be about to live in a house like this? Let’s look at the evidence...

A school chum of Prince Harry; “posh as they come”; gets all his money from Daddy; likes fox-hunting; related to the Queen Mum.

It could only be one person. Come on down, Your Royal Highness Prince William... Anorak

Anorak
9 May 2006

SO what about the commoners who Prince William will be expected to mix with in his stay in the Big Brother house?

The Sun reckons they include a former Miss Wales, two gays, a topless model with breast implants and a City stockbroker.

And that, says the Star, means that the show is set to be the raunchiest yet.

“Fans are expecting topless beauties, open-air sex and threesomes when the show hits our screens next week,” it says.

Of course, fans have been expecting all of the above – and more – since the very first show six years ago.

And what have they had instead? Hours and hours of lip-reading practice, arguments about whose turn it is to do the cooking and a very occasional fumble under a duvet in the dark.

But that doesn’t stop the bookies once again proving the truth of the adage about a fool and his money as they offer odds on everything from al fresco sex (2-1) to a threesome (6-1) to a female housemate conceiving in the house (33-1).

The odds of the next heir to the throne being conceived during a threesome in the Big Brother garden stood this morning at 66-1.

I don't believe all I read in the papers so here is my guess at the names for this year.

BOYS
Sam
Sam
Sam
Sam
Sam
Sam

Girls
Sam
Sam
Sam
Sam
Sam
Sam

"This is Big Brother, would Sam come to the diary room..."

Hey, I might get one right at least.

Girls:

Betty
Sarah
Claire
Racheal
Yvonne
Rebecca
Vicky

Boys:
Bob
Ben
Bolo
Terry
Austin
James
Gosford

Males:
Kevin
Steve
David
Ian
Chris
Alan
Richard

Females:
Kelly
Pam
Louise
Kim
Karen
Denise
Vicky

I got 2 . Nicki and Richard