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Too sober for Ms Lawler

Careful Gran, you never know who might be lurking.

I really really REALLY want Rachel to go now. Her little support session with Kat was SICK-MAKING! Kat blubbing - excellent. Cry bitch cry! Perhaps she'll think twice now before squawking f*cking "Happy How" when people's friends are being evicted

So - who took the cider? It was Mo, quite obviously. The man is a hoover FFS.

REX TO WIN!!!!

Rachel looked really gutted to be up for eviction. She thought she was going to be able to stick in the background and sail through to the Final unnoticed.

Her one big mistake (which she has now realised) was choosing Hell's cake to win and thereby alienating the people in heaven. If she had chosen their cake, they would have been happy and Kat and Mikey on the other side wouldn't have nominated her because they are friends with her and Nicole probably wouldn't have either, because Rex mostly made the cake for Heaven, so she would have understood if Rachel said that was best.

Anyway, she needn't worry because she will stay I think. Stu's fans probably spent all their money saving him last week and will probably be broke this week!

I think if Stu hadn't organised that task, it would have been a shambles. Still, you couldn't really expect Mikey to organise it, because he couldn't see what people were doing.

No doubt that Gordon Brown is rushing out a free mobile phone top-up voucher for all single teenage mums as we speak!

But he didn't take it... he was given what he believed was Darnell's cider. A simple but unfortunate mistake that Rex n 'ole has been quick to capitalise on.

I'm only disappointed he didn't do it on purpose... or better still the entire house didn't take Rex's dutch courage and flush it down the sink.

single mums are cause of Britain's ills, I must remember to tell my mum