BB FANS

The Flirting Begins
Friday 19 May



It was more Big Brokeback than Big Brother tonight as Shahbaz set his sights on a Stetson clad Richard...

Richard was forced to call upon fellow Housemate Lisa to be his bodyguard tonight, when Shahbaz's advances and straddling became a bit too much.

Shahbaz obviously likes the look of Richard and he doesn't care who knows about it. Marching up to Richard in the kitchen, Shahbaz was a man on a flirting mission.

Interrupting Richard's chat with Lisa and Pete a doey eyed Shahbaz pestered: "Can I try your hat on Richard?" Richard gave a polite but firm no, but that only seemed to ignite a flirting machine in Shahbaz.

Fifteen minutes of full on questions, teasing and touching ensued. Richard continued to bat off his Housemates advances but to no avail. Cowering out of the kitchen, Richard asked: "Don't you want to get to know the other Housemates?" Lisa and Pete jumped to Richard's defence giving Shahbaz a friendly warning to leave Richard alone.

"You love to touch!" Richard told a touchy feely Shahbaz. "I'm very tactile," Shahbaz replied, not taking a hint "you're more reserved." "Only with you!" Richard replied before escaping to the lounge.

Shahbaz followed him like an excited puppy, straddled him on the sofa and screeched: "You are going to flirt with me!" A nervous Richard looked to Lisa and pleaded: "Bodyguard, bodyguard."

Oh dear Shahbaz, looks like your loving is a one way thing. Ch4

Richard is your typical self-obsessed, big-headed, egotistical muscle queen. I hate him already.

Oh I know a muscle mary!

Oh, i dunno, as much as i hate a guy with all that muscle i think he might be quite entertaining to watch

I'm too lazy to do it, but could somebody come up with a parody song for Shahbaz set the tune of Ricky Martin's 'She Bangs'

I'm sure there's potential there

I've no idea what the tune is, but I am sure it's just the same one as "Livin' in DIVina's Lock-up" (or whatever his one other hit was). I did it more from Richard's perspective than Ya-bas' (or whatever his name is).

He bangs

Knit for me
Cover my frame
When you said Kashmir, I thought you meant jumper
Cover me in Maple Leaf syrup, I'm an all-night humper
You blow me in the shower it's just the game
You wound up my crank and now I'm thrusting away
Like a piston
Ride it, Baby!

Spread for me
Here comes ecstasy
You're switching beds,
like a ten-a-night s1ut
You're playing games
and now we're humping behind the hut
Shovel it up, Baby!

Well if Lady Luck doesn't skin me alive
We're gonna rock this Elstree dive
I'll rough him up
Till he passes out
He walks like a she talks,
And he talks like a she walks

And he bangs on, he bangs on
Oh cross-dressing baby
Why doesn't he shut up?
He drives me crazy
'Cause he looks like a Weegie welder
but he punches like a sissy
Like every boy in history
he bangs, and then falls asleep

I'm wasted by the way he moves
Never heard no one so endless in rants
he reminds me that a man only got one thing in his pants
Bring it here, Baby!

Knit for me
I'll tell you my size
I'm just a stitch in your pattern
Your all night rough-love slattern
I think this wool matches my eyes
I made you cross-eyed last night
Now cross-stitch for me, Baby!

Knit for me
Tell me the nomination news
I done the shopping list, I ordered high-heeled shoes
I'll dance on your back till the fans go home
And we'll make our love pumps foam
Froth up, Baby!

Well if it looks like love should be a crime
Back in the Fifties you did the dirty and then did your time
But you'd better lock me up for life
You think I'm gay but don't tell my Canadian wife
She'd throw me out and sue me for every last dime

Well if Divina goes into labour
I'll let you touch me up, as a favour
I'll rough him up
Till I knock him out
He's my Wonder Woman, I'm his Muscle Mary
Ten weeks without razors we're all lairy and hairy
He walks like a she talks,
And he talks like a she walks
Worst of all he stalks like a serial killer stalks!
Don't kill me, Baby!

You've missed your calling in life Alan.

But then again maybe you haven't.

You say I'm deaf like?

I'm no Lisa. EH!?!

Eh!?! Speak up!

You what?

I can't 'ere ya'!!! You what?

Alriiiight, ya' don't need ta' shout. Am not deaf ya know!

From DS:BB



First argument out the way already then Think the BB6 lot were a little quicker though!

That reminds me where is Pete Burns these days

He needs to shut up and shut up now ....

on the live feed he just is so loud and loud ....had to switch off becuase he is just such a @@@@ wanabie with no talent... I developing hate for him on day 2 ....

He is Graham Norton's character in Father Ted:



"Who can screech the loudest? Hmm? Let's have a screeching competition! I'll go first - arrrrrrrrggggghhhh!"

He has a job now for the first time in 21 years (not bad for a 37 year old) maybe its all the excitement of the brotherhood, He thinks that means he will have to sing "save all your kisses for me" live on TV

I have just been told to stop swearing at the telle

That chancer really gets on my wick

He's doing Bette Davies at the mo and acting kinda strange.