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House - don't know about the corpse tape on the ground, or the S&M dungeon masquerading as the diary room, but I'm liking the house. Reminiscent of BB1. Don't fancy the urinals, do fancy the water bed. The glass walls will be interesting.
OK, on to the housemates.
BONNIE
...who, it seems, can actually pronounce her name properly when required. Not "Bonnah" after all then... I'm sure she has nice eyes, so the sooner she gets rid of the panda make-up the better. Maybe it's to cover up the "no sleeping, just partying" effects. Very nervous on entry, and maybe a bit timid once she saw who else was there. I hope the house gives her a chance.
PETE (tip for the top)
I've regretted first impressions before, but I think Pete is absolutely fantastic. Based on the first night, he's my winner without a shadow of a doubt. Well, unless it's Grace... I can't wait to see more of Pete and his personality. And his socks.
GEORGE
Will his Scottish connections be enough to clinch it for him? Doubt it. Ironically it seems he's too cool for school. Prep school at any rate. Nerves were certainly getting the better of him, so I guess he's not too cool for Big Brother. You can't hate people just for being posh.
SHABAZ
There exists a word in Orkney. That word is "GYTE" and Shabaz is it. "Clean gyte" some would say. In his own words, he will certainly provoke a lot of thought. I think the man needs a lot of love but I don't think the Big Brother house was the best place to look for it. He's fanatical about the 80s so you can't knock him for that. But Wonderwoman as a heroine? Has he never heard of Daisy Duke?
LEA
Big boos for big boobs. But she can't have had it easy, going from 22 stone down to six. Call me harsh but I don't think she's 35. I'm 35 for crying out loud... wait a minute, maybe I could do with a tummy-tuck too. I don't think she'll be in for long.
IMOGEN
The girl with no natural brains who has worked hard to get some, and who is gifted but not perfect. Oh the dangers of auditioning! Despite her unusual claims, once in the house she seemed to settle well and take to it quite naturally. I'd like to see more of her, ya get me?
MIKEY
It won't matter what we say about Mikey, because at the end of the day, "he'll KNOW he's been good"! His strong views might not do him many favours among certain factions of the voting public but it definitely will with others. Very laid back and quite a cool lad all round. Seems to be taking a bit of a back seat so far. And there's nothing wrong with that!
DAWN
A serial complainer who believes people are born into misery. Doesn't have friends and doesn't want any either. Formed an alliance with a membership of one. Isn't an alliance...? Oh never mind. Wants to be reincarnated as Jesus or Hitler. Why would somebody like that want to be in the Big Brother house? Some people do view it as purgatory I suppose.
GLYN
Davina summed it up - "not quite Baywatch". The youngest of the group and I'd say it shows. He seems genuine, if a little nervous and definitely had the "rabbit caught in headlights" look about him as the evening went on. I think his approach to the programme seems to be an honest one and I hope it doesn't leave him scarred.
RICHARD
He has all the lines - 'cried at Bambi' - 'a phobia of pregnant women' - 'I lack grace' - 'like an untrained, inbred dog' - and worse. If he wasn't such a caricature he might be ok. I get the feeling that he was going to be the biggest personality in there and was a bit miffed when he wasn't. The only corpse he might seduce is a dead duck. We'll see.
GRACE
Ahhh Grace. Abolish taxes - check. Good dress sense - check. Great boots - check. Likes Dirty Dancing and Grease - check! So what if she's posh, she seems like an ok lassie - and she's SINGLE. Dear Endemol...
LISA
I can't decide about Lisa. She superglued somebody's toes together - hahaha! But she chews with her mouth open. She's 'original, mint and in yer face' but at least 'what you see is what you get' which is admirable. She smokes 30 a day, she's 'dead loud and a bit deaf'. I think she'll be funny to watch but murder to live with.
SEZER
Immediately re-named the Big Brother house "Sezer's Palace". Oh pur-leeeze. Shaves his BOTTOM and his tongue is his best feature. Aged 19 he was the most qualified person in the company - so is HE the real King of the Swingers? He's reached the top and he's had to stop, so now he's on BB! Will be fun to watch if you can bear the 'cheeze'.
NIKKI
She's special - in her own words! I think the word 'shallow' is particularly poignant when it applies to people who are shallow but trying not to be. But Nikki's not trying not to be shallow, innit? She's very straightforward and very sweet with it. How can the ambition to find romance in the Big Brother House and to marry a premiership footballer seem ludicrously out of reach, yet so deliciously accessible all at the same time? If only life were as simple for us all.
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Might work for her, I reckon she'll be in a while and people will either find her endearing or incredibly annoying (e.g. thing like complaining that her £16 bottle is the only thing that can remove her make up will have as many people chuckling as it will those going 'oh shut up.' Probably the latter the longer she's in.)
