BB FANS

There were these 3 criminals who had just robbed a bank in Egypt. They were caught, convicted, and sentenced to exile in the Sahara Desert and they could each take only one thing. When they met in the desert they each were telling what they had brought.

"I brought a loaf of bread, so when I get hungry, I'll have something to eat," said the first criminal.

"I brought a water skin, so that when I get thirsty, I'll have something to drink," said the second.

"I brought a car door, so that when it gets hot I can roll down the window."

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.

The lad asked, "What is this, father?"

The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.

The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."

was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper:

"Ames" "Here!" "Jenson" "Here!" "Jones" "Here!" "Magersky" "Here!" "Seeback"

No answer.

"Seeback!"

No answer was heard again.

"SEEBACK!!!" The troops remained totally silent.

At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant's ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, quickly turned over the list and continued calling the names printed on the other side.

An Englishman, a Texan and a Polak are lost in the Nevada desert. After days without water or food they come upon a lamp half buried in the sand. They rub the lamp and out comes a genie. Since they all rubbed the lamp the genie grants each one a single wish.

The Texan goes first and wishes to be transported back to his house where his pool was filled with beautiful women. The genie claps his hands and the Texan vanishes in a flash of light.

The Englisman wishes to be transported back to his house where he knows his wife will be eagerly awaiting him. Once again the Genie claps his hands and the Englishman vanishes.

The Polak sits down and thinks about what he should wish for. Suddenly realizing he is all alone in the desert, he promptly wishes that the Texan and the Englishman were back.

A woman three months pregnant falls into a deep coma. Six months later, she awakes and asks the nearest doctor about the fate of her baby.

"You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine," says the doctor. "Luckily, your brother named them for you."

"Oh ****, not by brother! He's an idiot! What did he call the girl?"

"Denise," the doctor replies.

Thinking that isn't so bad, she asks, "And what did he call the boy?"

The doctor answers, "Denephew."

Well well Ploppy - you've been hard at it...

i try my best

Lucky too - or else what would we have to laugh about! Keep it up.

cheers i will

I went to the doctors the other day as I was have trouble hearing,
the doc asked me "What where the Symptoms?"

"Well" I said "Their a yellow cartoon family from Springfield"

Two men sat in a bar...
1st man...." I slept with your mother"

2nd man ignores him.......

1st man (more forcefully)...." I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER"

2nd man....."go home dad......you had too much to drink"

A friend of mine fell into a sewer yesterday...

He couldn't swim ..

So he just went through the motions!

The men of Charlie Company had been in the field for two weeks
when the Sarge announces, "I've got good news and bad news.
First the good news. Today we're going to change our underwear."

The troops started cheering at the news.

"Now the bad news. Smith, you change with Jones.
Andrews, you change with Murphy ..."

Little Johnny walks up to his Aunt and says , "my God, Aunt Edna
why are you so damn ugly?"
His mother overheard this and pulled Johnny into the kitchen.
and screamed, "how could you say to your aunt is so damn ugly!
"Because she is," said Little Johnny.
His mother said, "You go back in there and apologize to her,
right now! I mean it, you tell her you're sorry!"
Little Johnny goes into the living room, walked over to his aunt
and said, "Aunt Edna, I am sorry you're so damn ugly."

How do you make a dog drink?

Put it in a blender!