BB FANS

Again thanks to Lyns

One for the men
FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHING JOKES
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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Why is a Laundrette a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand
closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt
her.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring,
Suffering.
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Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God
created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither
God nor Man has rested.
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Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
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A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive
and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
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Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:
Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all
said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget
it once.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are
beautiful.

I have to print that one out!

See we are but fair...that's why we are the fairer sex

CC

Seen that ones before but they still make me laugh.

The blokes on here can't complain now cc that there's one about women

They for got this one. Why do women have legs. So they can walk from the bedroom to the kitchen. See..we can laugh at ourselves. Somebody has to

Chrotle, chortle, chortle. That's sheer class. Thanks CC.

What do you do if a bird cr*ps on you car........


....don't take her out again!


(Oh sorry, that was very poor).

I know this isn't a joke and should be in the book bit but it seems relevant to what you've been discussing.....

I bought a new book recently called:

'Why men lie and women cry'

haven't read it yet but am taking it on holiday with me tomorrow and am looking forward to it all making sense at last!!!! (yeah right)

anyone else read/seen it?!?!?

Dont know what you mean Felicity!

Allan Pease per chance?!

He did a talk at Gleneagles, couple of months back. He was brilliant...what a hoot the day was......the tears were running down my face. Kept doing scenario's from the book.....and guess what the relevant sex kept walking right into the trap. Recommend you going to hear him if he comes back.

You'll love the book

thanks for that! I did read the first chapter about a month ago and it was hilarious - I was laughing out loud in my bed.

good holiday reading then

Most definitely

We'll be looking forward to your review posting upon your return. (Hope you have a lovely holiday, are you going away anywhere nice?)

going to Salzburg tomorrow for a week then to Orkney for a long weekend before going back to school.

thanks - will let you know what I think when I get back