BB FANS

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ
so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I

have never figured out why men think with their head and women think with

their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets

thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do"





FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the

passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like

it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every

husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with

my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical

needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't

you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.



The very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend time with

her.

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big

department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several

different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I

told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new

clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewellery

department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one

Wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because

She asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play

tennis.



She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.



Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is

all dear, lets go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't

feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped

with a baffled "WHAT??!!!"



I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a

while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man

enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just

when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why

can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy

you?"



Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly

over a frozen hell.