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The other day I phoned my local pizza delivery firm and asked for a thin
and crusty supreme.
They sent me Diana Ross.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.
He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns
would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
She stands next to the barber chair, eating a cake while her dad gets his
haircut.
The barber smiles at her and says, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on
your muffin."
"I know," she replies. "I'm gonna get t*ts too."
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Scientists today exhumed beethoven from his grave, when they opened the
coffin, they were shocked to see him playing the piano backwards, when
asked what this meant a spokesman said he was de-composing.
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Sky have just won the rights to screen the first World Origami
Championships from Tokyo. Unfortunately it's only available on Paper View......
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Sean Connery gets a call from his agent one day.
The agent goes "Sean, I've got you a job, starts tomorrow, early.
You'll have to be there for 10-ish". Sean furrows his brow and says,
"Tennish? but I don't even have a racket."
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