BB FANS

Helpline: BMW Helpline, how can I help you?
Customer: I got in my car, closed the door, and nothing happened!
Helpline: Did you put the key in the ignition and turn it?
Customer: What's an ignition
Helpline: It's a starter motor that draws current from the battery and turns over the engine.
Customer: Ignition? Motor? Battery? How come I have to know all of these
technical terms just to use my car?


Helpline: BMW Helpline, how can I help you?
Customer: My car ran fine for a week and now it won't start!
Helpline: Is the petrol tank empty?
Customer: Huh? How do I know?
Helpline: There's a guage on the dashborad with a needle and markings from "E" to "F". What does it read?
Customer: It's pointing to "E", what does that mean?
Helpline: It means you have to visit a petrol vendor and purchase more petrol. You can install it yourself or have the vendor do it for you.
Customer: What! I paid 30 grand for this car and your telling me I have to keep buying new components? I expect a car that comes with everything built in.


Helpline: BMW Helpline, how can I help you?
Customer: Your car sucks big time!
Helpline: What's wrong with your BMW?
Customer: It crashed that's what's wrong with it.
Helpline: What were you doing.
Customer: I wanted to go faster, so I pushed the accelerator all the way down. It
worked for a while and then it hit a wall. Now it won't start.
Helpline: It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect BMW to do about it?
Customer: I want you to send me one of the newer versions that doesn't crash anymore!


Helpline: BMW Helpline, how can I help you?
Customer: Hi. I just bought my first car, I chose a BMW because it has ABS, power steering, cruise control and automatic transmission.
Helpline: Thankyou for choosing a BMW. How can we help you?
Customer: How do I work it?
Helpline: Do you know how to drive?
Customer: Do I know how to what?
Helpline: Do you know how to drive?
Customer: I'm not a techie, I just want to go places in my car!

Author unknown - I think this was originally posted to BMW Digest?

- - - me and computers... computers and me

Helpline: BMW Helpline, how can I help you?
Customer: My car ran fine for a week and now it won't start!
Helpline: Is the petrol tank empty?
Customer: Huh? How do I know?
Helpline: There's a guage on the dashborad with a needle and markings from "E" to "F". What does it read?
Customer: It's pointing to "E", what does that mean?
Helpline: It means you have to visit a petrol vendor and purchase more petrol. You can install it yourself or have the vendor do it for you.
Customer: What! I paid 30 grand for this car and your telling me I have to keep buying new components? I expect a car that comes with everything built in.

hahaha that one is so funny!!! Thanks for those Jim!

Have you ever seen that thing the publish with all the really funny quotes from GCSE english essays or something. My teacher read us some out in 3rd or 4th year and the one that will always stick in my head - 'He was 6 foot 3 - really tall - as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree'