Thu, Mar 24, 2005 :
MegaStar
In a bid to lure viewers away from the sixth series of Channel 4's Big Brother, ITV have gone celebrity reality TV bonkers!
It’s bad enough that the BBC have axed Jake and Danny from EastEnders and decided the entire nation just wants to dance, dance dance with Graham Norton, but now ITV have also jumped on the demoralising bandwagon.
According to the Independent, ITV “unveiled a schedule of programmes for spring and summer laden with celebrity and reality television shows”.
First up is Celebrity Love Island, where 10 buff, single celebs get shipped to a tropical island and try and cop off with each other. Expect to see Jeremy Edwards and Abi Titmuss discussing the merits of Gordon Brown’s budget.
Then there’s the mouth watering Celebrity Shark Bait which dumps four celebs in South Africa's Shark Alley. Apparently it’s a one-off to celebrate the 30th anniversary of Spielberg’s Jaws flick. Again, we’re praying that Edwards and Titmuss get to put their wetsuits on.
Then it’s Celebrity Wrestling, where we get a whopping 12 so-called ‘famous’ mugs getting sweaty in their pants. And if that doesn’t take your fancy, then there’s always Celebrities Under Pressure or the return of Hell's Kitchen, but we get Jean Christophe Novelli and Gary Rhodes instead of Gordon Ramsay.
Have I Been Here Before? is Philip Schofield taking celebrities back to their past lives in a new daytime slot, which Titmuss might not agree to if it means seeing John Lesley again. While motor-mouth Vernon Kay will wheel out old music acts for us to laugh at.
“Hit Me Baby One More Time, will revive pop acts from the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s - including Gloria Gaynor, Howard Jones, Sinita and Limahl from Kajagoogoo - to perform their original hits as well as modern songs. Viewers will vote for the winners every week.”
So, if you’re planning a summer holiday this year, then make sure it lasts until November.